Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Four Herbs from a Dream.....

"I have a dream! A dream about you, Baby!"

"Dream a little dream of me!"

Of all the stupid......

Some idiot's wife had a dream about four herbs. Or maybe she was in a trance. Or maybe it was just a dream-like state. Who fucking knows? Who fucking cares? A user of eHealthForums.com, Budha3 says, "My wife saw four herbs in a dream that she said will cure aids and cancer." But over on the web site for his book which Budha3 mentions, he says, "she was in a trance-like, dream-like state." Whichever; it doesn't matter.

What does kinda matter is that this fucker can't even use correct grammar. "... she did not no anything about...", "...the herbs that she saw were each a nemisis to Aids...", "Other scientist are citing his work.", etc.

And then there's the whopper "sentence" here:



Edward Calabrese, a respected professor of toxicology at the University of Massachusetts, endured ridicule as he gathered evidence showing that small amounts of poisons, even cancer-causing chemicals such as dioxin, can be good for you, Calabrese's work suggest that for many chemicals, exposure to a low level may be healthier than no exposure at all, Though long relegated to the scientific fringe, Calabrese's idea is suddenly being taken seriously.

I'm willing to belive some of this guy's grammar problems are typos, but not all of them. I mean, SHEESH! This guy needs an editor!! BADLY! (What self-respecting book publisher would even give an author who wrote like that the fucking time of day!??)

What are these Dream-Herbs? Well, he doesn't name all four but he does say in one of his posts that two of the herbs (which aren't toxic) are (Drum roll, please....) Spearmint and Iodine! (Iodine??? Since when is iodine a fuckin' herb???)

Does the guy ever fucking say what all the Dream-Herbs are? Of course not. You hafta buy the stupid book to find out; and this stupid book is a whopping 57 pages long. That's not a book; that's a fucking long letter....

Of course, with iodine suddenly being classified as an herb, maybe--just maybe--the other two "herbs" will be uranium and petrified wooly mammoth piss....

Among this guy's other books is a book titled, "How to Avert a Curse in Five Words or Less" (now available from Barnes and Noble!) Hey! Give the nutcase a look! It's worth a laugh or two or a dozen...

(This originally came from the forums over on eHealth. Well, at least thats how I first found it...)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Yellow Dock Root

Ran across this one somehow on a site called (I think) HaitiCentral.com. And, naturally, all information from Haiti is good and reliable medical advice. Of course!

Well, according to a user, "Satin silk", "Yellow Dock Infusion cures AIDS." No research is provided. No facts. No nothin'. Just the word of a "Cherokee Herbalist". This Satin Silk joker also says to simply munch on wheat grass if one doesn't have a juicer. Oh, yippee. Sign me up. I wanna look like a fuckin' cow munchin' on my lawn. Or the lawnmower man from the Stephen King story of the same name. (Not the movie; the movie, while decent, had little to do with the story...) Afterall, the Unnamed Cherokee Herbalist and a (ooooh!) Medicine Woman have cured lots of people by using Yellow Dock Infusion along with Wheat Grass Juice.

The "Satin Silk" twit tells ya to just go out and dig up some Yellow Dock, chop its roots into bits and make a strong tea out of it. At about an ounce per pint of water. (No, no research to back up the dosage.) And finishes with "I hope this is helpful to anybody who has a friend who has AIDS." Gee. How nice. Thanks.

Ok, so I Googled "Yellow Dock" and came up with the scientific name, rumex crispus. Which, when Googled yielded a site run by the USDA in among all the annoying sites hawking herbs for medicinal uses. (Yippee!!! Actuall, real information!!!) Well, sort of anyway. The site which came up from the USDA on rumex crispus was for curly dock--not yellow dock. But, when searching for yellow dock on the USDA site, nothin' popped up. So, I'm going to assume that the fuckin' herbalists are all wrong.

Look. Going around and digging up plants and then making a tea out of its crushed roots can have dangerous effects. If you happen to dig up the wrong plant, you could poison yourself. Digging up the plant in the wrong spot can be illegal. It's just fucking stupid.

On the other hand, since yellow dock is on the noxious weed list for some US states and is not native to the United States, go ahead and dig it up. (If it's not native, how the fuck does a "Cherokee Herbalist" know squat about it???) Just don't think that drinking an "infusion" of its chopped roots and munching on wheat grass like a cow is going to do squat for HIV infection or AIDS.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Parasite Popperz

Although they sound like some deep-fried appetizer at T.G.I.Friday's, they're actually little things that send "low frequency" though your body to kill parasites. At least that's what the fuckin' stupid Yahoo! member, "Giftpowers" said.

Of course, in the chat room, he kept misspelling nearly everything. Parasite became "paracite". His wholly underwhelming website is hardly anything but poor spelling. And this asshole is trying to get people in the chat room to send him $100 for this bullshit "Parasite Popperz" thing. And this fuckjob is one of those at the top of the totem pole; there is no middle man to his bullshit device--he makes them himself.

How to use the bullshit? One takes a "papertowlette" and moistens it. Then one takes hold of the hand holds and turns it on. Though, I still don't quite know why a "moistened papertowlette" is necessary and what one does with it. Does one just leave the "moistened papertowlette" sitting on the counter? Does it go on one's head? Does one simply throw the "moistened papertowlette" away after getting it wet? Does the brand matter? Bounty? Do they need to be of a specific thickness to get the best benefits? Minds like mine need to know!!!

Now, where was I?.... Oh, yes.... Gripping the hand holds....

After gripping the hand holds, the "low frequency" then courses through the body and zaps all parasites! Low frequency what? Deposits into one's bank account? Low frequency sound? Does a sub-woofer work as well as this bullshit? How many hertz? 60? 120? I NEED to know!!!!

Oh, and by the way, AIDS isn't a syndrome anymore; it's a physical entity called a Paracite [sic]. Put that in your peer-reviewed journal, Nature!!! Well, at least according to this "son of a wholisitic practicioner".

But, after significant badgering and immediately after my asking him where his "reasearch" into this bullshit was published, he vanished from the chat room. Big fuckin' surprise.