Goat Serum

(Since the below post was written and posted I've come to realize that both Precious and Rocky Thomas do in fact exist and aren't figments of someone's imagination. I considered removing potentially snide and rude comments I made about both of them but didn't want to appear to "rewriting history" so the thinly veiled jabs stay in the post. I still, however, do not believe that this "Goat Serum Cure" is in any way whatsoever helpful--may in fact be harmful--to someone living with HIV or AIDS. October 13, 2009)

Also known as BB:7075. Or maybe even peHRG 214. More on those later.

The cure for AIDS for this month/week/whatever was "discovered" (i.e., made up out of the blue) by asshole and general practitioner Dr. Gary R. Davis of Tulsa, Oklahoma. (But maybe it wasn't. More on that later.)

Back in December 1992, Dr. Davis apparently shouted a command to the heavens, "If you're God, then act like God!" That night, he had a dream. (Cue mysterious music.) In this dream, he was naked in a barn with a goat. (Cut it with the music!) What kind of goat is never mentioned. That's unfortunate. What's more unfortunate is why was he dreaming about being naked with a goat in a barn. That's just kinda creepy.

Regardless, he stuck a dream-needle into the dream-goat in the dream-barn and drew some of the dream-goat's dream-blood. When he awoke, he realized that he knew all sorts of stuff about HIV he didn't before. Like, for example, what he told his family, "Did you know that a goat cannot contract HIV?"

(No fucking shit, Sherlock! It's called HUMAN Immunodeficiency Virus for a reason.)

Then, much later, and as reported by one Forres McGraw (who claims to be a reporter for the Greenwich Village Gazette), precious 7-year-old Precious Thomas had AIDS, was being seen by doctors at the National Institutes of Health and had a Viral Load of 118,119 (which seems a bit too precise, by the way). But, after using Dr. Davis' bullshit Goat Serum (I guess retrieved by squeezing a part of the goat that might get you arrested and charged by the Humane Society), precious Precious' precious viral load went preciously to "ZERO [sic]". (Never mind that viral load tests aren't fucking accurate to anything less than 50 (or maybe 25, I'm not sure); that's why it's called "undetectable".)

Here's the story. In 1995, Dr. Davis "developed" his treatment, one year later, he applied to the FDA to perform a clinical trial with his Goat Juice. While apparently initially approved, that approval was revoked.

Meanwhile, back in Bethesda, MD, Rocky Thomas, Precious' precious unfortunately-named mother, was apparently comforting Precious who was "in the hospital". Whatever that means. Heck, if you step inside the doors of a hospital, you are "in the hospital". Regardless, Ms. Thomas "vowed" to do whatever it took to help her daughter. Admirable; but in this case stupid.

Mrs. Thomas apparently recalled a news story on Dr. Davis' "treatment" and flew off to Tulsa to meet with him. According to the story, Dr. Davis was "barred" by the FDA from administering his "treatment". So, he apparently cancelled all his remaining appointments for the day and spent "much of his afternoon" with the Thomases.

So, standing by her vow, Rocky broke the law and stole a vial of the Goat Serum and administered it to her daughter. Afterwhich, precious Precious was "cured" of her awful HIV infection.

~~~~~

This story has so many problems it's amazing. But let me touch on a few.

First, an undetectable viral load is NOT cured! Sheesh! I would think even a GP (General Practitioner) would know this!

Second, this Rocky Thomas twit could have done some horrible things to the daughter she claimed to love so much by using an unproven and utterly untested "serum" on her! If this Rocky Thomas exists, I would love to see her prosecuted for child endangerment!

Not only that, Rocky Thomas admittedly broke the law by stealing the serum! This possibly fictional woman is a danger!! (One wonders if this "Mrs. Thomas" is the one who stole the goat serum from a "holding facility" in North Carolina as referenced on an FDA Web page warning persons not to use the Goat Serum at all....)

And the author of the "article", Mr. McGraw, attempts to twist the denial of the clinical trial by the FDA into some sort of racially-based discrimination! He states, "Why is the brilliant work of an African American General Practitioner being suppressed?" What an asshole!! Not everything "bad" that happens to an African American is because of his or her skin color! Fuck you, Mr. McGraw!

And, I found absolutely no references to Mr. McGraw's articles nor to this Precious Thomas on the web site for the Greenwich Village Gazette. (To be fair, I'm not sure how far back the Greenwich Village Gazette keeps articles. And, Mr. McGraw could have been summarily canned, booted, fired, kicked to the curb or otherwise dismissed from his duties after writing his article.)

Finally, there is a lot of information on the internet about this Goat Serum. It's called BB:7075 by Dr. Davis. And, a quick search on "BB:7075 HIV" yields an interesting page at the Ghana AIDS Commission's web site. And that page is really where this bullshit Goat Juice really crashes and burns.

Most notably:

"The Commission further stated that no pre-clinical studies have been conducted on BB: 7075 with respect to HIV 1 Virus." (Remember precious Precious from earlier? If she was infected in the US, chances are that she has HIV 1 and the fucking Goat Juice has NEVER BEEN TESTED ON HER STRAIN OF THE VIRUS!!

And, I leave you with this lengthy-ish bombshell from near the end of the Ghana AIDS Commission's web site:

Contrary to the above [claims that Dr. Davis discovered or invented BB:7075], further search about BB:7075 on the internet and particularly on the [United States Food and Drug Administration] website, seems to suggest that Dr Davis is not the inventor of peHRG 214 [the name possibly given to the serum in a US clinical trial] as there is no documentation on the product except those placed on the internet by Dr. Davis himself. Drug development should generate substantial date. To date, Dr. Davis has not been able to provide any scientific date on his product."

What an asshole this Dr. Davis is!

(The references for the dream above came from Eightball Magazine and The Quiet Hour. Never let it be said that I don't publish my sources...)

Cocroack Liquid

A user, gayguy_76 and whose name is Sahil, popped into the usual chat room and asked if there was a cure for HIV. He was told summarily that there wasn't and he said, "are u sure ... as i have heared that there is a liquid in a cocroack that cures how much true is that i done knw". I asked him what a cocroack was and he said it was an insect inside everybody's house. At least that's what I think he meant. And, after I continued on with "Do you mean cockroach?" he left the room.

Not much to go on with this one so I'll just post it and let it lie like the stinking pile of cockroach castings it really is.

Samayz

Back to Africa and the Middle East....

About a month ago, the HIV/AIDS:1 chat room on Yahoo! was inundated with a slough of idiots promoting this crap, Samayz, as a cure for HIV and AIDS. It's since died down significantly (and we're all happier now) but it's still stuck in my brain. So here we go.

This Samayz shit is derived from snake venom. Which snake? Who knows!? They don't say.

Of course, I asked the guys (or gals) trying to get people to buy this shit (at $599 for 1.5 cc, no less) if they had proof that it worked, if their results had been published in a medical journal, if they were doctors, blah, blah, blah... (If you've been reading this blog at all, you know the usual questions.) (Yes, I'm kinda lazy today. Tired as hell.) Of course, they answered all of these questions incorrectly if they actually had an actual cure.

And, yes, you read that correctly. Six hundred bucks for a measly 1.5 cc. Or, about $1,511,640.39 per US gallon. And you thought gasoline was expensive.....

And not only will this shit cure HIV and AIDS, it'll help with cancer pain, bursitis, various types of herpes (they say it'll actually cure herpes, too!), hepetitis B and C, and a cart load of other ailments.

Oh, and they also try to cover their ass by saying in their FAQ, "Saymyaz has not been approved for sale in the U.S. at this time. " But, I'm sure they'd mail it to anybody in the U.S. if they got some money for it. Fuckin' assholes.

Obviously with the list of other ailments that these asses say this shit will cure they're just trying to maximize their market-base. This is just another example of people trying to take advantage of people desperate for a cure where none exist.

AL 721

It's more than just a seemingly random collection of letters and numbers. It's not a new Gas/Water Hybrid SUV from Mitsubishi with a 1-cylinder engine. It's "A more promising and simpler alternative cure" than AZT. (Nevermind that AZT doesn't cure HIV nor AIDS; just helps stop the virus from replicating.) This is according to A Web Site on Alternative AIDS Cures. (Nevermind, also, that there is no known fucking cure for AIDS in the first place; how can there be "Alternative" cures???)

What is AL 721 if it isn't a new Mercedes? It's "Active Lupids at a ratio of 7:2:1" and made from chicken egg yolks. (Hey! I wonder if this has anything to do with the brain worms from last year??) And, like everything these sorts of fuckers put out, it has "no side effects". Really? Not even for those who have an allergy to chicken eggs??

AL 721 is a "buttery substance" which is used on toast in the morning for "several weeks until the symptoms disappear". There ARE NO SYMPTOMS of HIV or AIDS. (Well, in the broad sense, anyway. You can't look at a person which HIV and see something that definitively indicates that person has HIV. Or AIDS for that matter.) What the FUCK is this asshole talking about!?

All this shit is is mayonaise. Fucking Best Foods Mayonaise. Eat mayonaise on your toast in the morning and cure AIDS! Yippee!!!

(Ok, to be downright fair and all that shit (something these fuckers don't allow themselves) I don't really know how this AL 721 shit is made. But mayonaise *is* made from egg yolks.)

(Best Foods Mayonaise has nothing to do with this post. Nothing to do with this Blog. It is a fine mayonaise and terrific in potato salad. Now, get off my back you damn monkey-lawyer!)

Brain Worms from Second Generation HIV-infected Alien Chickens

No. Really. I mean it. The "King Technica" website ("Where God and Gay rhyme" and "where its [sic] God and Gay, ALL the Time!") has discovered an amazing truth. (And some really annoying music; turn down yer speakers before heading over there...)

Get the drum-rolls ready. Be ready for the cheerleaders. Fill up the water tanks.

Chickens are from outer space!!!

Cue the pyrotechnics! Cue the marching band!! Cue the fountains!!! Start the parade!!!!

No. Really. He means it. This creepy sweaty guy (yes, that's really a picture off his web site which states that all pictures are freely distibutable; even the ones he doesn't own and violated copyrights on by using them) really believes that chickens are alien animals from outer space. Since they're from outer space ("not of this Earth") they have to be cooked before being eaten. Which is why the aliens (whose name is "Sequoia" by the way; here I thought it was a tree!) brought chickens to Earth in the first place; to be used as food for us.

Z (his "Earthly name is Scott") says (and you'll notice the quotation marks), "Thus, when you f*ck around with chickens, you invite powers that are not of this Earth." He also seems to have a real big issue with the Catholic church. I don't really know where this nut-job gets his information but he also says, "Church messed around with dark energy by hurting chickens to pick the infectious fruits to kill sinners."

Voldemort? The "CHuRCH" is Voldemort!?? No wonder the Catholic church doesn't like Harry Potter.....

On second thought, I *do* know where this freak gets his information; from the aliens. I wonder if the computer he uses is in the common room of his ward....

So, anyway, on to the Second-Generation Infected Chicken Brain Worms.

The whole jist of this, truly the most bizarre shit I've come across for this blog, is this: "The parent chicken needs infected, then the offspring chickens need infected again, to produce a condition in chickens similar to Mad Cow's Disease. Scientists need to infect the chicken in such a way to force them to develop "BRAIN WORMS". The Cure to AIDS is found in those WORMS." I like how he says "is found" rather than "can be found" or "may be found". It's as if he's done the research (i.e., listening to the little crazy voices in his head) and actually discovered this to be true!

But, alas, it isn't. Reading further, "KingTechnica.com has sent emails to AIDS web sites but we need your help in getting this information to the AIDS RESEARCHERS. Scientists arent [sic] going to find the cure in any synthetic drug, because this isnt [sic] a synthetically created disease. It was CREATED by CHuRCH using CHICKENS and the spiritual principals of Voo-Doo. Sick." Well, he got one thing right; HIV/AIDS isn't a man-created disease. I have to give the insane guy that much.

He's lost it on so many levels but one kinda sticks out. His "Double Negative" crap. ("Crap" and "bullshit" don't really apply because this critter is so far gone it's a little sad...) He says that since the Church, uh, fucked with chickens (isn't that illegal in most states??) and created a double negative of Hurt and HIV, it's going to take a double negative to cure it. That's why the chicken brain worms need to come from the brains of chickens who are infected twice.

This all begs the question, "If Chickens are infected with HUMAN Immunodeficiency Virus, if it does anything at ALL, doen't it become AVIAN Immunodeficiency Virus?" ("OH NO!! BIRD FLU!!!")

But ya know, I can't help but wonder if the chickens are infected via intravenous drug use, a needle stick, or through unprotected sex...

(I've really only barely scratched the surface of this In-Need-of-therapy Guy. To get the full Dali-esque picture of this guy's lunacy (and I mean that in the truest sense of the word) I really do suggest you visit his site. Try not to laugh too hard; you might get a hernia...)

Crocodile Fat

Apparently, crocodiles are amazing critters. If you pureé one up in a blender, you get the Antidote from earlier (See The Antidote (a.k.a., Extract of Crocodile). And, if you somehow get some crocodile fat away from said croc, you'll be able to cure all sorts of diseases! In both man and beast!!! Amazing!!!

Over on a message board trying to either prove or disprove the Antidote (Here's a hint; IT DOESN'T DO A DAMN THING!) some guy, gal, woman, man, kid, or old fart named Chris Swart says in a message that he has access to crocodile fat which he says has been used "with success" in treating both AIDS and cancer. By success I assume he means has cured.

And, wouldn't ya know it, Mr., Miss, Ms., or Mrs. Swart (I really don't know which.) has just that crocodile fat for SALE!! It's only $100 for 80ml, too! A bargain at, uh, free.... At $100 it's just another fuckin' rip off!

As to how it's supposed to work to cure cancer and AIDS I have no fuckin' idea. I suppose these fuckers that do this sort of crap think that if they come up with something that sounds really, really weird (ie. Noni Juice) or Folksy ("Tapping") or jus' plain nutty (Crocodile fat) people will believe anything they say about it. Fuckin' tools!

The Antidote (a.k.a., Extract of Crocodile)

No, I don't know what that means, either.

They call it, "The Antidote"; a Biological Miracle. This crap "is a unique Anti-Microbial Peptide offering the widest range of healing power on the market today. It kills all known deadly VIRUSES and BACTERIA in the body." Nevermind the fact an antidote is used to counteract poisons; such distinctions and actual definitions aren't appropriate for these people.

But no matter; they claim that with the Antidote, "The common cold is a thing of the past, even serious infectious diseases such as Cancer, HIV, SARS and many other life threatening diseases can be helped by the miracle healing powers of the Antidote." (Apparently, they've not only found a cure for cancer, they've also discovered that cancer is an infection and is caused by a virus and/or bacteria. Who knew!!???)

I don't know how they extract it, either. Do they put a whole crocodile in a blender and switch to Puree? Ice Crush? Hold a specimen jar underneath a certain part of the crocodile?

Anyway, they want you to have this all-inclusive crocodile puree but "The Antidote is only available from Biologicalmiracle.com's Internet website". Not because they want to bilk desperate people out of money but because drug companies don't want you to have it because they "would be losing billions every day if this product was on the shelf next to their major brands." (Uh, wouldn't the Drug Company™ that made, marketed, and sold this thing be making billions if it actually worked??? But that would require that pesky FDA approval process and clinical trials and such...)

Oh, but WAIT! They have a clinical trial. It lasted for about a month in Puerto Rico and involved, as best I can tell, 12 people. Well! That's good enough for me! Screw the FDA! Screw the facts! Screw testing!!! Bring on The Antidote! Oh, wait. That's supposed to be the Antidote. (Why the hell do they put it in red and bold like that? Does that lend some sort of non-existant credibility?)

And doesn't any company that makes a drug become a Drug Company by default?? Again, that deals with pesky definitions and such... We have no time for, you know, facts and bullshit like that....

While they don't tell you how much the Croc Juice costs on the web site (it's $49.95 a bottle) it comes in 5ml bottles. Yes, $10 per cc. (Ok, if you want to split hairs, it's $9.99 a cc)

Finally, they keep taking pains to point out that it's a peptide made from "a Natural Protein made up of Amino Acids." I'm no biologist but I always thought that proteins were always amino acids.

So, make friends with Steve Irwin! Cure all that ails you (unless it's a fungus) with a Crocodile smoothie! (Can I have mine with a margarita?)