Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Improving One's Inner Strength

Some time ago, Punni555, who should be a General, slithered into the usual chat room and started spouting off at the keyboard about a cure for HIV. Why should he be a General? Well, it ain't for any great military prowess. He doesn't have a fantastic new strategy for winning wars. But what he can do is get even the tiniest viruses to "retreat". Really. He says that through the mysterious improving of one's inner strength that he can "retreat HIV". Whatever that means.

When I asked him about his HIV cure, he blathered on and on about some heart blockage [sic] thing "they" had "released". He never explained what that was all about; only saying that they'll "release soon" for HIV. Oh, and that it was free. As if that makes it much better.

He provided a website, http://www.3dhealthcare.org/, which still doesn't work right. And it's been 5 months since he slithered into the chat room. And the HTML for that main page is absolutely atrocious. But it was by wading through the TABLE before the HEAD tag that I found at least what I believe is supposed to be the main page for the bullshit website.

Yes, that is Three Dimensional Healthcare. I wonder if they hand out little polarized glasses. Or those silly red-and-blue head-ache inducers from decades past...

They sort of get a pass for their poor English; it's not their native language. (And I know they speak and write English a hell of a lot better than I speak Hindu.) But that's all they get a pass on.

As best I can tell, this bullshit cure that has been "released" for heart blockage [sic] is, well, thinking about it really, really hard. Meditation. They never explain exactly how it works for either the heart blockage [sic] nor for HIV. Indeed, the HIV page doesn't even seem to be finished. (I do wonder if they have the rights to use those images they've used....)

Anyway, Punani here blurted out that HIV has "50 cal energy". I asked him how many HIV particles it takes to get to 50 calories; he never replied.

He also said that by thinking really, really hard about your white blood cells, they would somehow strengthen and kill HIV. He said, "just increse [sic] the white cells energy ... this is possible with ur [sic] mind".

Shortly after a bizarre discussion on white blood cells being above 1000 energy and then dropping he decided he had to go. He tried to push me off to some "doctors" in Canada (which is where I told him I live; I lied) and I asked him all the usual questions: Peer-reviewed study; who verified the cure; how many have been cured. None of which ever got a response other than "try u r self [sic]" 0r the painfully over-used variants of "ASL?"...

He also eventually figured out how to operate his mouse or other pointing device and found my profile on Yahoo which lists my actual location (it not in Canada; indeed, I lied). I congratulated him on learning a new computer skill and mentioned that he should also have checked out the links there. One of which links to this very blog. Oh, that would have saved him so much trouble....

Regardless, I thought really, really hard about this Punani fucker and eventually he left. I guess that's how this cure is supposed to work for HIV. It seems that's what he claims will cure "heart blockage".

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Some Food Grains

But which food grains?? Aye! There's the rub! (Flour?)

kana_machi_vo_vo, a Yahoo!Chat user managed to weed through the fogginess of his (or her?) brain and venture into the usual HIV/AIDS chat room in Yahoo! Messenger. First thing it said was, "Hi everybody hiv/aids can be cured. it is true" which you know is going to pique my interest. It promised it was telling the truth and then said, "it will cost you US dollar 5000 when the patient is cured." Very well, I know where to take it from there.

So I did. (But not before I had a ton of disconnection issues. It eventually all worked out....)

In between all those disconnections, KanaMacho here kept promising that it was telling the truth! It even swore on the Almighty. Though, Almighty what, it never said. Judging by the $5,000US price tag, I'd say the almighty dollar.

Why is KanaTwit trolling for patients in the chat room? Well, as it said, all patients in its country are "brainwashed". (An entire country that brainwashes its citizens??)

What the hell is this cure that costs $5,000US? "Food Grains". Which ones, KanaIdiota never would say. Some sort of major secret, I suppose. But what it did say about these Food Grains was that they have "no side effect" and the "Food Grains" that cure HIV were put together out of passages of the holy books. Which holy books, you ask? Nearly all of the major ones. The Bible, Quran, and Vedh. (I'm not familiar with any holy book named "Vedh". And a quick Google search also was unfamiliar with any holy book named "Vedh". Of course, I'm not terribly surprised.)

KanaMacho went so far as to tell someone to come to Bangladesh and "stay in your preffered secured place. i shall treat you without any money till you get cured. i swear". Which, of course, begs the question how long does this bullshit cure take? Kana says, "within 120 days you will be cured." FOUR MONTHS!? You want me to pay for a friggin' hotel room for up to FOUR MONTHS while you do nothing but give me "food grains"???

How many people has Kana cured? It's a 100% success rate, by the way. Kana's cured a whopping five people. FIVE!?! That's it! Kana isn't trying very hard....

In fact, that's where this Kana person kinda loses any credibility at all. Kana said that even though he can't get any patients in his own country (all brainwashed, remember?) he was able to get 5 people from another country to take this cure. All five people were unwilling to "stand" with Kana as he "declared" this cure because HIV is highly stigmatized in his country. I replied, "But they have been cured; they don't have HIV any more so what's the problem?" You'd think that someone who'd been among the first five EVER cured of HIV infection would want to make sure that as many people knew about it as possible. But maybe that's just me. But, perhaps, these people aren't actually cured of anything and don't want to deceive people. In thinking the best of people, I'd hafta go with that option.

How did Kanafuck get his five patients? Though lying and deciet. Really. He admits it. He said he contacted some hospitals because he was writing on the lives of those who are HIV positive in Bangladesh. Thing is, he wasn't writing anything at all. He LIED and now he expects people to believe him when he says some "food grains" can cure HIV infection with no side effects. (What about those who might be alergic to, say, wheat gluten? Of course, assuming that wheat is one of the food grains this asshole thinks can cure HIV infection.)

I also asked about testing and the usual verification of results. But, Kana was too scared to submit this "medicine" for testing because, according to him, someone would steal the medicine and claim they invented it themselves. SHENNANEGANS!

I summed up this asshole's cure by stating, "So, you lied to get in contact with people with HIV or AIDS. You didn't test this medicine before giving it to people. And you can't provide any proof that you have a cure for anything. Why do you expect me to believe you?"

About the only thing Kana said that was probably actually true was, "I am a non-medical person". Well, that much is obvious.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Attending A Church Service in Lagos, Nigeria

It's the cure for lazy people!

Yes, that's right. You don't have to do anything other than show up at a church service in Lagos, Nigeria. But not just any ol' church service; it's gotta be at the "Christian Praying Assembly Church" in Lagos.

In the usual Yahoo!Chat room, a user, Chubbychubby74, ran in, shouted at the top of his keyboard's lungs, "HIV/AIDS IS 100% CURABLE FREE OF CHARGE" and "ITS [sic] CURE(100%) NOT TREATMENT". Several times he shouted this each time with an admonition to PM him.

Being the antithesis of gullible that I am, I PMed him. (Wow, it's big-word-day here at the blog, aint it?)

I asked him to tell me about his "cure". And he replied, "I wonder why people take the power of god for granted" (this, too, was in all caps, but for the sake of legibility here, I'm not going to all-caps it.) Since this wasn't a reply to my statement, I pressed on again with asking him to tell me about this "cure". Again, he ignored me and said that it's 100% free of charge; which he had already said in the chat room.

I'm beginning to wonder why so many people seem to have such difficulty with reading comprehension these days....

I pestered him to tell me the name of the church and it took at least 5 minutes to get out of him the damn name of the church, "Christian Praying Assembly Church". You'd think that a church that can cure HIV infection simply by showing up would be ecstatic to have its name plastered all over the internet. But this one apparently operates in relative secrecy. (Don't tell anybody....)

Once again, I asked him to tell me about the "cure". His response this time was "Are u [sic] in Nigeria?" Regardless, I went back and forth with Chubby-Chubby-Two-by-- and eventually got out of him that this cure is by his "General Overseer", he wasn't joking, he saw his brother cured 100%, that it was 100% free and asked me if I can come to Nigeria.

When I asked him who verified that his brother was cured, he demonstrated his lack of reading comprehension skills again and replied, "Have u [sic] heard of His Holiness The Most Hon. Dr. Rev. King". (That's quite a few abbreviations before his name there, ain't it?) He went on to again tell me that it's 100% free and that he's not "demanding" money.

Anyway, I pressed on with the verification of his brother being cured. He said that "four hospitals" did "the complete HIV tests". Being that there is nothing I'm aware of that are called "The Complete HIV Tests", I asked him about them. He said he didn't know what they were and that I should just believe him.

When it was clear that I doubted him, he began what was one of the most despicable and exploitative shenanigans to try to convince me. He said that a friend of his (you know, Angie from the UK) doubted him and "she is dead now". He further said:
  • "IF AM LYING LET GOD BLESS YOU, BUT IF AM SAYING THE TRUTH, FROM NOW TILL THE END OF 2009, YOU SHALL DIE"
  • "WHAT I PRONOUNCED UPON YOU WILL PROVE TO YOU OK"
  • "WE WILL KNOW WHO WILL FUCK INSIDE THE GRAVE"
  • "I HAVE SPOKEN TO U INTRHE NAME OF GOD"
  • "GET BEHIND ME SATAN"
So, I went ahead and asked Chubby Chubby 2x4 here to do something a little more kind: Make it rain outside my house if he was speaking for God. "I'll even accept a light drizzle".

He further proceeded to tell me that I was "dirty" and that he was giving me HIV instead of making it rain; all in the name of his all-loving God.

And then he left.

He's been back since then. And my offer of believing him if he can make it rain on demand still stands... I think we're in for a rather dry summer....

(I suspect that another user, njidekaking, is the same person as chubbychubbytwobyfour here; they both promote the "Attend a church service in Nigeria and be cured" bullshit with the same all capital letters and the same "May god punish me blah blah blah". My apologies if they are not the same person. However, looking through the internet real quick it's clear that they are at least speaking of the same church and same "hon. dr. rev. ms. prof. whatev. King")

Friday, March 14, 2008

Herbs Smeared on Your Body by the President of The Gambia on Thursday

This comes to us from the President of The Gambia. It's a tiny, insignificant country on the Atlantic coast of Africa.

See? There it is. So cute and tiny and insignificant and surrounded on three sides by Senegal. So I suppose it's only reasonable that President Jammeh, President of The Gambia, should take time away from his busy, busy schedule to study, develop, test, and administer a cure for HIV and AIDS. But, you should know, it's only available on Thursdays (on Friday or Saturday, he cures asthma). And only to 10 people. Really. He says,
The mandate I have is that HIV/Aids cases can be treated on Thursdays. That is the good news and the bad news is that I cannot treat more than ten patients every Thursday. There is nothing I can do about it and if I go beyond that I will have to pay the price. (http://www.statehouse.gm/pres-rvth-board_170107.htm)

I don't really know what to say about this. I mean, come on! An herbal cure for AIDS that is only available to 10 people and only on Thursday? And the same thing that cures 100 people of asthma?

Anyway, let's dig a little deeper... He has a whole string of seemingly arbitrary "requirements" for people receiving this "treatment". One of which is to not chew chewing gum. And to not take any "western" medicines other than the ones he's using on you. Yes, that's right, this "cure" involves the use of "western" medicines. (I assume those are anti-HIV medications such as Sustiva, Zerit, Epivir, Atripla, etc.)

He even goes so far as to publish a page with the supposed Viral Loads of those people he's treated. But, if you look at those numbers, they're incredibly bad! Viral loads in the 19-million and upwards of 63-MILLION copies!! And, in others, the viral loads are merely undetectable. That is probably about the farthest from a cure I've seen!!

And, he also lists the CD4 counts of those same patients. And, they're not much better! CD4 counts as low as 23 is NOT A CURE!!!

I sure hope that this asshole's "patients" get better treatment from someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing. This ass isn't doing anything to help his "patients".

By the way, you can also Search the Archives on his site for even more astounding bullshit.