The Antidote (a.k.a., Extract of Crocodile)

No, I don't know what that means, either.

They call it, "The Antidote"; a Biological Miracle. This crap "is a unique Anti-Microbial Peptide offering the widest range of healing power on the market today. It kills all known deadly VIRUSES and BACTERIA in the body." Nevermind the fact an antidote is used to counteract poisons; such distinctions and actual definitions aren't appropriate for these people.

But no matter; they claim that with the Antidote, "The common cold is a thing of the past, even serious infectious diseases such as Cancer, HIV, SARS and many other life threatening diseases can be helped by the miracle healing powers of the Antidote." (Apparently, they've not only found a cure for cancer, they've also discovered that cancer is an infection and is caused by a virus and/or bacteria. Who knew!!???)

I don't know how they extract it, either. Do they put a whole crocodile in a blender and switch to Puree? Ice Crush? Hold a specimen jar underneath a certain part of the crocodile?

Anyway, they want you to have this all-inclusive crocodile puree but "The Antidote is only available from Biologicalmiracle.com's Internet website". Not because they want to bilk desperate people out of money but because drug companies don't want you to have it because they "would be losing billions every day if this product was on the shelf next to their major brands." (Uh, wouldn't the Drug Company™ that made, marketed, and sold this thing be making billions if it actually worked??? But that would require that pesky FDA approval process and clinical trials and such...)

Oh, but WAIT! They have a clinical trial. It lasted for about a month in Puerto Rico and involved, as best I can tell, 12 people. Well! That's good enough for me! Screw the FDA! Screw the facts! Screw testing!!! Bring on The Antidote! Oh, wait. That's supposed to be the Antidote. (Why the hell do they put it in red and bold like that? Does that lend some sort of non-existant credibility?)

And doesn't any company that makes a drug become a Drug Company by default?? Again, that deals with pesky definitions and such... We have no time for, you know, facts and bullshit like that....

While they don't tell you how much the Croc Juice costs on the web site (it's $49.95 a bottle) it comes in 5ml bottles. Yes, $10 per cc. (Ok, if you want to split hairs, it's $9.99 a cc)

Finally, they keep taking pains to point out that it's a peptide made from "a Natural Protein made up of Amino Acids." I'm no biologist but I always thought that proteins were always amino acids.

So, make friends with Steve Irwin! Cure all that ails you (unless it's a fungus) with a Crocodile smoothie! (Can I have mine with a margarita?)