From the Icky File: The Sputnik

In reviewing today's cure, I came across this immensly disgusting electronic medical "device". It's called the Sputnik. It's a little pill with electronic stuff inside that you swallow. After it hits your body fluids, it starts zapping away at you. It continues zapping you with electricity while it passes through your intestines.

And, how do you get the little thing out of your body? Well, like most things you stick in your mouth, it comes out your ass. Covered in shit. Fecal matter. Hepatitis C virus. That sort of thing.

The makers say you can use the Sputnik up to three times. You retreive the pill, cleanse it and then reingest it.

Yes. Retreive is a very polite way to say, "Dig it out of your shit". (They suggest using a seive to retrieve it. Which means, of course, "Taking a dump into a strainer") Cleanse it means, "Try to get the shit off of it". Reingest means, "Stick that old, shitty plastic thing you just dug out of your shit into your mouth and swallow."

No, they don't claim that swallowing a shit-covered pill will cure AIDS, but this was so disgusting I had to say something about it...