Garlic

This comes from a whole slough of herbal bullshit from a guy calling himself Dr. Richard Schulze. And I'll take on more of his bullshit in the future; it's just FAR too much to tackle in one day.

No, he's not a doctor; he's an asshole. And he's a happy asshole. And he points. (How fuckin' rude!) He's never even set foot inside a medical school. (At least according to his own biography.) It's stated on his biography regarding a clinic he had, "He knew he had to be inconspicuous to avoid legal prosecution for treating people with diseases." Could that possibly be because he doesn't fucking have a god damn medical degree and calling himself Doctor!?? If he had a PhD, I might excuse it, but he doesn't. His clinic was raided and he was arrested. However, he says he escaped jail on a technicality. (Does that mean he admits he was doing something illegal????) And, finally, "He closed his clinic." (No shit, Sherlock!)

He believes that people can and should live hundreds of years. He cites the Bible as proof; and thinks we can all achieve living to 500 years old if we just, well, do what he says. (Personally, I think the 500+ year life spans seen in the bible actually refer to cycles of the moon, but that's not the point here...)

Anyway, here's my methodolgy for stickin' jus' plain ol' garlic as this cure. Non-Doctor Schulze says on his Index of Ailments page that one should follow his New Incurables Program to rid one's self of AIDS. On that New Incurables page is a section on garlic which states, in part, "If you do only one program or use only one herb, it should be Garlic." (He goes on to mention vaginal insertion of garlic to cure infections and cure cancer. YIKES! Does he hate women!?) Anyway, that's why I'm focusing on garlic today.

So, Garlic is an "herbal surgeon". Can it take out an appendix? Does it do biopsies? Is it on call on holidays and weekends? And you're supposed to get the garlic in you any way you can. He even goes so far as to imply a suggestion for a garlic smoothie. (All organic, of course.)

I can't help but wonder how this affects a very-high-risk group. HIV Positive Vampires. (Or, HPV. Wait, that's something else...) As everybody knows, vampires are repelled by garlic but, if they can get cured by using garlic what kind of quandry does that put them in. Enquiring minds want to know!

And, if garlic was such a damn good cure-all, why do Italians get sick? Why, oh WHY does logic not seem to occur to these assholes?! I don't think critical thinking was in their course work in school. Of course, this fucker, "Dr." Schulze never went to a real college; he only went to the school of a "famed herbologist". Fucker.

Finally, I think it would be fantastically easy to figure out if someone is trying this "cure". The odor would be astounding....

(Dr. Asshole's picture taken from his biography page at the URL and link earlier in this post.)