Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Noni Juice

Way back in August 2005, back when I had a decent and reliable internet connection (Oh, how I long for those days!!!) Yahoo! Member darin992002 popped into the HIV/AIDS chat room and said that "Noni juice is a miracle drug for HIV" and that it cured him of being paralyzed.

The only way I can think that any sort of juice would cure paralysis is if the paralysis was caused by dehydration. So I can only think that Darin here was severely dehydrated. Big whoop. Water would have done that.

As far as Noni juice being a "miracle drug for HIV", well, I can only direct you to http://noni.worldwidewarning.net/ which is a somewhat comprehensive listing of all the problems surrounding both the distribution and promotion of noni juice. Needless to say (at least around this blog), Noni Juice does N-O-T-H-I-N-G. And, in fact, might even be harmful. So, Darin992002 is full of shit.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Not Having Sex

And now, for a word from the religious right...

The folks at Turning Point Ranch say on their web site at http://www.tpranch.org/Cure%20for%20AIDS.htm that the cure for AIDS is abstinence. Yes, indeed, simply by not having sex, we can cure AIDS... Oh, but not for those who already have it, only for the vast majority of those who don't have it. Sorta like blaming the person for getting sick. If you get the flu, it's your own damn fault for breathing.

And, to be fair, yes, if everybody stopped having sex, the incidence of HIV transmission would drop dramatically. (And so would the birth rate....) But they ignore one basic fact: Sex is Fun. Sex feels good. You simply can't expect the entire world to stop having sex because you think it's a good idea.

They also talk about "AIDS-infected men". And that's just wrong terminology. Nobody is infected with AIDS. Nobody "gets" AIDS. People get infected with HIV which then can develop into AIDS. It may be splitting hairs but I think it's also an important distinction.

Anyway, if nobody had sex anymore, AIDS will go away. (Except for those who get it through sharing needles. Or from needle sticks in the ER. The site conviently ignores those two different infection vectors... Ah, well... We can't win 'em all...)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Restorazine

Every now and then something comes along that just makes me laugh outloud... This Bullshit Restorazine is one of those things. According to one "Doctor" Deswin Fisi Adubiaro (who had wandered aimlessly into the HIV/AIDS:1 chat room on Yahoo! bumping his head on the door knob on his way in) from Nigeria at his badly written web site Restorazine is known for "restoring the dead back to normal life..." Yes indeedy folks, this week's bullshit will raise the dead!!!!! Must be powerful damn stuff... (You'd think H.P. Lovecraft would have known about this thing for "Reanimator"; jus' keep that body-less head with the nasty tongue away from me!!!!)

According to the web site above (also titled "EZEKIEL 37 THERAPIES"; yes in all caps) Restorazine not only is a cure for HIV/AIDS it is also described in the sentence fragment, "A remedy (Flying on Eagles Wing)." Whatever the hell that means. But, this Dr. Fuki guy damns the Run-On Sentence Cops and says it's "A scientifically researched and refined herbal mixture of 13 solid herbal ingredients that are very effective in eliminating and eradicating deadly micro-organisms in human system [sic] e.g. Virus, Bacteria, Fungi, Protozoan and Parasites." Take that, you copper!!!

On the "Our Vision" page, Dr. Fiji rattles out another Run-on sentence offense in, "The story that led to this evergreen glory {Discovery of RESTORAZINE} came into being in the month of February 2nd, 2001 through an unforgettable dream and after that, Dr Fisi humbly went into series of research after when he had requested from God and confirmed that his dream is a reality to come." I hate to jus' mock someone's punctuation and all (I know I have my moments, you know, with these, things, you know, like commas, and such) but this guy really should hire an editor.

Regardless. So, it came to him in a dream... Last night I had a dream I was looking through a manufactured home that was floating in space. Really. I was. Does that mean I should be making the International Mobile Space Trailer a reality??

Not only does this bullshit cure HIV and AIDS, Dr. Fuki blurts out the statement, "RESTORAZINE- Making the world a healthy and purified Planet." No, really. He says that; again, on the Our Vision page.

Elsewhere, he says, "This remedy is so powerful to an extent that it knocks off even some other diseases that no other remedy made for HIV AIDS can eliminate peacefully in human system, e.g. "KARPOSI SARCOMA". This disease happens in cancer patients most and whoever develops it will be made to know that it can't be treated but RESTORAZINE takes it off and restore back good life."

Apparently, he doesn't know that KS (Kaposi's Sarcoma in its correct spelling) *IS* a cancer. It's a skin cancer. So, naturally--by definition--someone with KS is a cancer patient.

Dr. Figit seems to have just the barest nugget of truth, a smidgeon of good intentions and a whole truck load of bad information, bad photography, bad medicine, and outrageously bizarre claims. He doesn't even have the nerve to put up scientifically reviewed testimonials. He's like an amature in this HIV/AIDS Cure Game. If he really wants to play with the big dogs, he'll hafta get up to speed faster. Oh, and, like, learn how to write, really well, sentences with all the right, and correct, punctuation and then he can pay his fines to the run on sentence cops so he can then hire an editor for his web site and so he can finally start at least appearing like he's making sense. (I wonder if Restorazine can repair bad grammar....)

(To be fair, in the chat room when I asked if this product can raise the dead, "Dr." Fisi said that it doesn't do that. No shit, Sherlock. And it doesn't cure AIDS nor HIV infection, either.)