Drinking Ethiopian Holy Water

I know it's been a while since the last update. I got involved with other things such as the election and such. Besides, a lot of the same old bullshit is being passed off as new.

Regardless, butter_scotch_23_2009 popped into the usual chat room recently and displayed a complete lack of critical thinking skills because she wanted to help "you people". ("You people"!? How fucking rude and condescending!) She said that there's some holy water in Ethiopia that has cured all types of illnesses including blindness and HIV. Her proof? An Ethiopian magazine written in Ethiopian and a copy of a "certified" paper printed in said magazine. Oh, yeah, the paper was also embossed by the government.

So, she had a "new Ethiopian friend" get some and bring it to her. And she's going to drink it and believes that this water from an unknown source is going to cure her of HIV.

Let's take the points one at a time, shall we?

• Certified
  The certification means absolutely nothing without knowing who did the certifying and what exactly has been certified. I could certify that highly efficient solar photo-voltaic panels can be made from shredded bank statements steeped in dog-shit tea for three days but that doesn't mean it's actually true.
• Embossed
  Any idiot can buy an embossing device from most any craft store or buy one from any number of websites. Just because it looks official doesn't mean it is. Butter's reason why the embossing device couldn't have been bought from the internet: Ethiopia has no internet service; they live in huts.
  
  Besides, you don't think the Ethiopian government has a desire to increase the number of people visiting its country, do you? Butter's response: Ethiopia doesn't have a government; they have a ruler. Uh, sweety; a ruler IS government. Pay no attention to Ethiopia's government being a Federal Parliamentary Republic and ignore their current president, Girma Wolde-Giorgis.
  
• Drinking water from an unknown source
  This is where Butter is taking her life into her own hands. She says that a friend of a friend of an uncle of a dog of a monkey of her sister's boyfriend's long-lost cousin (or something like that) has brought (or is bringing) some of this alleged holy water from Ethiopia to Butter for Butter to drink. Yet, there is no guarantee that this water that she's given wasn't gathered from a garden hose next door; taken from the airport bathroom, or actually did come from this mythical magical holy water source in Ethiopia. And, if it really does come from Ethiopia, (would it pass customs??) where are the assurances that it's even safe to drink. (Oh, yeah, the water comes with "instructions". INSTRUCTIONS!? You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me. (1) Open jar (2) Pour contents into mouth (3) Swallow (4) discard jar. Whatta fuckin' joke.)
  

Look, I understand the desire to want to believe there's a cure; I really, really do. But rather than believing any yahoo who comes by and says that, say, swallowing a goldfish that has spawned and lived in the pure spring waters from a mountaintop spring in Switzerland is going to cure any thing I would rather believe that an independently proven cure. Besides, as I told Butter here, a real cure doesn't require the person taking it to "believe" or "have faith" that it'll work; a real cure just works.

Improving One's Inner Strength

Some time ago, Punni555, who should be a General, slithered into the usual chat room and started spouting off at the keyboard about a cure for HIV. Why should he be a General? Well, it ain't for any great military prowess. He doesn't have a fantastic new strategy for winning wars. But what he can do is get even the tiniest viruses to "retreat". Really. He says that through the mysterious improving of one's inner strength that he can "retreat HIV". Whatever that means.

When I asked him about his HIV cure, he blathered on and on about some heart blockage [sic] thing "they" had "released". He never explained what that was all about; only saying that they'll "release soon" for HIV. Oh, and that it was free. As if that makes it much better.

He provided a website, http://www.3dhealthcare.org/, which still doesn't work right. And it's been 5 months since he slithered into the chat room. And the HTML for that main page is absolutely atrocious. But it was by wading through the TABLE before the HEAD tag that I found at least what I believe is supposed to be the main page for the bullshit website.

Yes, that is Three Dimensional Healthcare. I wonder if they hand out little polarized glasses. Or those silly red-and-blue head-ache inducers from decades past...

They sort of get a pass for their poor English; it's not their native language. (And I know they speak and write English a hell of a lot better than I speak Hindu.) But that's all they get a pass on.

As best I can tell, this bullshit cure that has been "released" for heart blockage [sic] is, well, thinking about it really, really hard. Meditation. They never explain exactly how it works for either the heart blockage [sic] nor for HIV. Indeed, the HIV page doesn't even seem to be finished. (I do wonder if they have the rights to use those images they've used....)

Anyway, Punani here blurted out that HIV has "50 cal energy". I asked him how many HIV particles it takes to get to 50 calories; he never replied.

He also said that by thinking really, really hard about your white blood cells, they would somehow strengthen and kill HIV. He said, "just increse [sic] the white cells energy ... this is possible with ur [sic] mind".

Shortly after a bizarre discussion on white blood cells being above 1000 energy and then dropping he decided he had to go. He tried to push me off to some "doctors" in Canada (which is where I told him I live; I lied) and I asked him all the usual questions: Peer-reviewed study; who verified the cure; how many have been cured. None of which ever got a response other than "try u r self [sic]" 0r the painfully over-used variants of "ASL?"...

He also eventually figured out how to operate his mouse or other pointing device and found my profile on Yahoo which lists my actual location (it not in Canada; indeed, I lied). I congratulated him on learning a new computer skill and mentioned that he should also have checked out the links there. One of which links to this very blog. Oh, that would have saved him so much trouble....

Regardless, I thought really, really hard about this Punani fucker and eventually he left. I guess that's how this cure is supposed to work for HIV. It seems that's what he claims will cure "heart blockage".

H1B

H1B is a cure consisting of five pills which were discovered in Nigeria. Oh, Nigeria! You fickle mistress of AIDS and HIV Cures! When will you crack down on these nutcases!?

A Yahoo!Chat user, wilbanksanthony, invented H1B (which works to kill HIV through the widely known and internationally accepted chemical process called "H1B Process". What do you mean you've never heard of it?) and says that after five days of taking these five pills not only will you be cured of HIV infection (and AIDS) but cancer and diabetes, too! It's a miracle! No wonder nobody's ever heard of this shit. Oh, and it does the ever popular "boosting" of the immune system. Whatever the hell that means.

(It's been argued that "boosting" one's immune system which is already being attacked by HIV can cause more damage than good since HIV uses the immune system to replicate itself. So, if H1B did anything other than take money from your pocket at put it into wilbanksanthony's it might actually leave you worse off than before. But I digress. But only a little bit.)

The charge for H1B is $2,500 because he is "in Nigeria" and all we have to do is go to Nigeria to find out for ourselves.

On the plus side, the results of this asshole's "cure" have been published in the unavailable-online "Imo State University Medical School Journal". Now, there is an Imo State University but whether or not they have issues of their medical school's Journal is in question. In fact, wilriverbanks here never was able to provide a URL to the possibly nonexistant Journal. In response to whether or not he could provide me a URL, he replied, "I do not have a URL because its very costly getting here in Nigeria". Clearly, he doesn't know what I meant.

Further, he said he was in an Internet Cafe. Did I forget to mention that he claims to be "Medical biochemist"? Ooops! So, this asshole is a Medical Biochemist, doesn't have enough money to buy a computer, has discovered the cure for AIDS, (H1B which works by the H1B process) and claims that building a website is "very costly" in Nigeria.

Now, get this. He actually did eventually tell me what the five pills of H1B are. That's surprising in and of itself considering there are other users in the chat room who claim that they can't disclose their cure because the Nigerian government will steal it. The five pills of H1B are, "Cocaine, natural herbs, Calcium, water, elipikinih". Ta da! That's it!

The first four, I kinda know what they are. (Cocaine!?!? This asshole is selling cocaine!!?!) But that last one is a bit of a mystery. He explained that "Elipikinih is a drug that was discovered in Nigeria that boost [sic] the Immune [sic] instantly and kills virsus [sic]" And nobody's ever heard of this wonder drug that kills all viruses!?

He addressed that concept, too. He claims that all Nigerian reporters are "corrupt" and would steal his bullshit H1B and claim they invented it. Who cares, asshole! It doesn't DO anything except make you HIGH!

He went on and on and even claimed to have cured five people of HIV infection (but couldn't provide any verifiable information such as names, and independant researchers who verified these people being cured). But I'll leave you with this little tid-bit. He said he's only out to help the world and not himself. Kind of a worthy and noble goal. But then why the HELL is this fucking asshole selling this Water-and-Cocaine McCormick Spice Blend for $2,500!? Is he only trying to help the part of the world that has money!?

What an asshole.....

Concentrating on One's Breath

This came to the chat room via a user, "Chereddy_Krishna". It's a simple yet advanced technique. At least that's what this idiot called it. And, all you need to do is "to sit down , keep ur fingers in fingers , close ur eyes , and just 'concentrate on your Breath'". Does it matter if one's breath is garlic-y? Sour? Does someone who has severe halitosis have a rougher or easier time? I'm all confused. But that's another matter.

Yes, indeed. Concentrating on your breath is the cure for HIV and AIDS. Or maybe it isn't. Take for example this exchange from the chat room (my comments in Blue):

ME: Chreddy, breathing is the cure for HIV...
chereddy_krishna: yes it brings in invisible COSMIC energy
ME: So, if I just concentrate on my "breath" I will be cured of HIV infection. Interesting. How long does it take?
chereddy_krishna: u have to meditate at the least no of minutes as ur Age
chereddy_krishna: if ur 32 32min
chereddy_krishna: if ur 40 40min
ME: Chreddy, how does concentrating on your breath work to destroy HIV?
chereddy_krishna: yes the actual point is you get YOGIC pains which are results of ur past wrong doings ; these pains are to be beared and u get cured after that

Where do these fuckers get these ideas? "Cosmic energy" that "cures all ILLNESS" because it "enters during meditation"???

I asked him what the process which the "cosmic energy" uses to destroy HIV and he kinda sorta just shut up. He repeated over and over "I just know it cures" and similar unproven statements and completely made up anecdotal "evidence".

Further, as usual, I asked him if he has proof that thinking about one's breath will cure HIV and AIDS. He replied, "documentation is that has to be done in Pdf format and be distributed". After I asked if the .pdf file had been published in the usual peer-reviewed medical journal he denied that any such document existed. Which only served to confuse me.

He continued, "i [sic] just have many friends here who cured all their disearses [sic] using this meditation". And we're supposed to just believe this internet fucker 'cause he has no proof of that, either. Hell, he didn't even know how he was measuring the cure.

He finished by telling me to "hang to scientific things" and "i [sic] say my purpose is to just express it but not prove it; if u [sic] think it all flook then leave it".

"Flook"? What the fuck is "flook"?

Thank you, Chereddy. I will "hang to scientific things" because most "scientific things" are, you know, proven. It's part of the process of being scientific. Unlike your bullshit which is just made up and absurd. Yes, meditation by concentrating on your breathing (which is what he really meant) may have some stress-relieving benefits, but it isn't going to cure anyone of HIV nor AIDS.

Pass the Tic Tacs...

ESP

Picture, if you will. A man named Ivan Gellner. Mr. Gellner has ESP but doesn't quite understand what it means. You'll see why later.

But for now, suffice it to say that Mr. Gellner claims to heal people "suffering from AIDS/HIV+". Apparently, he doesn't realize that people don't suffer from HIV+; they are HIV+. Doesn't bode well for the rest of what he says.

Mr. Gellner claims to do this healing through ESP. (Yes, yes, I know that ESP actually means Extra Sensory Perception but this guy apparently uses his perception to "heal" HIV and AIDS.) Is healing in the eye of the beholder??

He doesn't even need to be in the patient's presence to use his perception to heal. "You do not need to go to see me at all, because all is done by the distance/remote healing." "There is no physical contact with the patient's body. I practice so called 'distance healing'."

He goes on:

I exert influence on my patients for over 6 hours daily through meditation and an absolutely clear mind. The essential part is that I do this meditation for all of us. I say "for all of us", because I do meditation also for myself, of course, therefore I really meditate for all my patients concurrently.

This of course, begs the question, why doesn't his healing work for everybody in the world!? Why do people still have HIV and AIDS? Hell, why do people still get colds if this guy is spending 1/4 of his life "meditating" for "all of us"?? Oh, but I digress. Kinda.

He also says, "My personal approach is not to explain anything but trying to heal." So what he means is that he isn't doing a damn thing and wants you to pay him for it. But only after you see some healing effects. What are these healing effects? Well, according to our wonderful friend, Mr. Gellner:

• reduction and healing of many AIDS/HIV+ symptoms
• increase of CD4 cells
• stopped the decrease of CD4
• lowering of VL
• less [sic] side effects from medication
• restoration/rebuilding of the immune system
• whole body optimization
• more energy, and good mental health

What the hell is "whole body optimization"? Does Mr. Galbladder here run some sort of defragmentation program every day for at least six hours for all his rubes? I mean, Clients?

One would think that if the number of one's CD4 cells increased, they'd stop decreasing by definition, but he feels it necessary to make 'em separate. Still not a good sign, eh?

He also advocates continuing to take one's medications after one is diagnosed with "HIV+" regardless of his "healing". He continues and says that you should not expect a quick result from his healing and that it could take several months to see results from what he's doing. Problem is, he ain't doin' shit! He's just telling you to take your medications and then HE takes credit for causing good lab results!!!! STOP TAKING CREDIT FOR WHAT THE MEDICATIONS DO!!!!

Oh, wait. But maybe he's not healing at all. Despite all the claims to "heal" on his website, he says, "Please do not take this as a claim that I can heal it, because I still don’t know. (As of July 2006)"

So, he says he doesn't know and then says he can. And then says he'll charge you a non-refundable "application fee" of $39US to begin the perception of healing he says he doesn't know about. I guess that it's this $39 that begins the "free" four-month healing. Which, by the way, you're warned that the effects of that four-month non-existing healing are only temporary. After that, if you want to continue being thought about in a very, very vague way by someone you've never met, you'll have to pay Mr. Gellner $648US for the first year and then $468 each year after for "Maintenence Healing".

This asshole really does take the cake here. He says to continue taking your medications since his perceptual healing doesn't replace them and then takes credit (and your money) when the medications work.

How much do you want to bet his "meditation" takes place while he's shopping, driving, watching movies, taking vacations, flying to Italy, lying on the beach, etc.???

Samayz

Back to Africa and the Middle East....

About a month ago, the HIV/AIDS:1 chat room on Yahoo! was inundated with a slough of idiots promoting this crap, Samayz, as a cure for HIV and AIDS. It's since died down significantly (and we're all happier now) but it's still stuck in my brain. So here we go.

This Samayz shit is derived from snake venom. Which snake? Who knows!? They don't say.

Of course, I asked the guys (or gals) trying to get people to buy this shit (at $599 for 1.5 cc, no less) if they had proof that it worked, if their results had been published in a medical journal, if they were doctors, blah, blah, blah... (If you've been reading this blog at all, you know the usual questions.) (Yes, I'm kinda lazy today. Tired as hell.) Of course, they answered all of these questions incorrectly if they actually had an actual cure.

And, yes, you read that correctly. Six hundred bucks for a measly 1.5 cc. Or, about $1,511,640.39 per US gallon. And you thought gasoline was expensive.....

And not only will this shit cure HIV and AIDS, it'll help with cancer pain, bursitis, various types of herpes (they say it'll actually cure herpes, too!), hepetitis B and C, and a cart load of other ailments.

Oh, and they also try to cover their ass by saying in their FAQ, "Saymyaz has not been approved for sale in the U.S. at this time. " But, I'm sure they'd mail it to anybody in the U.S. if they got some money for it. Fuckin' assholes.

Obviously with the list of other ailments that these asses say this shit will cure they're just trying to maximize their market-base. This is just another example of people trying to take advantage of people desperate for a cure where none exist.

Immuno QR

I've always known that the best way to get advanced medical knowledge (such as a cure for AIDS) to the vast world-wide population is through shouting in a comment made to a blog. That whole scientific review process just takes too long and they require all sorts of annoying things like facts, research, and reproducability. As a case in point, some user named "WW" commented on a blog entry about Magic Johnson. And he used all caps which not only makes it difficult to read, it also means he was SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS! Oh, and he didn't use any punctuation, either; which is a clear sign of the obvious truth and scientific research he's done on this "Immuno QR" crap. Here--unedited--is what he said:

THERE IS A CURE FOR AIDS AND HIV IMMUNO QR AND IT IS ON THE MARKET ON THE INTERNET FOR 240 BUCKS LOOOK IT UP IT WAS DISCOVERED OVER 10 YEARS AGO BUT THE DAMN FDA WONT APPROVE OF IT BECAUSE THEY MAKE WAY TOO MUCH MONEY ON OVER THE COUNTER BULLSHIT ASS MEDICINE.

I had NO idea that the FDA gets its money and funding from actually selling medications!

For those that can't really make heads nor tails of WW's, uh, information here's what he typed with appropriate punctuation and not in all caps: "There is a cure for AIDS and HIV--Immuno QR--and it is on the market on the internet for 240 bucks. Look it up. It was discovered over 10 years ago but the damn FDA won't approve of it because they make way too much money on over-the-counter bullshit ass medicine."

Ok, so I've Googled for "Immuno QR". And here's what I was able to discover about it.

The first site that came up for it says, "The said drug called "Immuno QR" has not gone through any scientific trial and the claim of any success should have been published in any of the scientific journals in India or abroad " Interesting. So I move on.

The second site (which sells Immuno QR) says, "That is why immuno-QR is effective in many otherwise incurable disease. It is very effective in the treatment of killer viral diseases Immuno-QR is also found to cure Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma and S.L.E. as well as Rheumatoid Arthritis." But no mention of HIV. Kinda contradictory, don't ya think?

And the serach results go on and on. Needless to say, Immuno QR doesn't cure anything except the empty wallets of the assholes who sell it to desperate people. (Maybe even to desperate housewives; but I'm not sure.)

Mark Anastasi's "Fill-in-the-Blank Miracle Breathrough" Ebook Review

Some months ago, Mark Anastasi decided that I'm somehow defaming his character by relating non-libelous truths about him and what he does. In that message he inexplicably sent me a free copy of his $97 Ebook, "The AIDS/HIV Breakthrough Miracle". While I had difficulty opening the file at first thanks to a crappy dialup connection (the same crappy dialup connection that's forced me to go to a Weekly update rather than Daily) I have finally been able to open the Ebook.

Although I would like to post a copy of it to the blog for free downloading I can't do that for a number of reasons. First and foremost, copyright laws and my respect for them. However, there is nothing at all preventing me from reviewing the Ebook and then posting my opinion of it. Even the quotes I take from the Ebook are protected under the Fair Use laws because I'm simply writing a review.

In fact, this blog almost demands I post a review of it and I will reveal this so-called "breakthrough miracle". So hang on; here 'goes....

Who's the Real Author?
One of the first things I noticed about Mark Anastasi's ridiculously priced Ebook isn't even contained in the content of the Ebook. It's in the document properties. While the File states the correct file name (how could it not?) the Title and Author fields have nothing to do with Mark Anastasi nor HIV/AIDS. The title apparently is really "A Letter to Diabetics Everywhere" written by one "Mudrika Bhudia". Although Mr. Anastasi thanks this Mudrika Bhudia in the book, a quick Google, MSN, Yahoo!, Dogpile.com, and Wikipedia search for "Mudrika Bhudia" yielded precisely zero results. Not a single one. So while I'm respectful of copyright laws, Mr. Anastasi doesn't seem to care very much.

Another sign of his lack of caring is the seeming different sources for the Ebook. From chapter to chapter, the writing style changes. I don't care enough to do a scientific study on the possiblity of different authors for each of the chapters but a simple read produces enough doubt for me. Most obvious to me is the different spellings of "disease"; in some places, it's "disease" and in others it's "dis-ease" complete with quotes. Does Mr. Anastasi think he's fooling anybody?

Pay for Free Information?
The Ebook is a complete waste of money as well as hard drive space. On Mr. Anastasi's web site, one can sign up and have a free report sent to you. 77 of the $97 Ebook's 81 pages (that's a massive 93%) are made up of the very same free report that Mr. Anastasi will happily send to you and other information from his various websites. Only a very small portion of the Ebook (a whopping four pages) mentions anything about HIV or AIDS. Since Mr. Anastasi has so many "Fill-in-the-Blank Breakthrough Miracle" Ebooks for sale, I can only presume that the only thing that changes from the HIV version to the Lupus, Cancer, Diabetes and Mutiple Sclerosis versions is that tiny section.

(He owns--or at least is the registrant--for a large number of hyphenated web sites such as www.health-answers.com, www.your--health.com (yes, with two hyphens), www.vibrant-life-and-health.com, www.health-ebooks.org and an untold number of others. (Search Google for "acts as an affiliate to Mark Anastasi's products." to see more. NOTE: As of July 18, 2006, these sites are mysteriously missing from that search. Some of the sites are still up and running; others are "Under Construction". Apparently, Mr. Anastasi has found a way to eliminate the sites from the search. However, a quick look-see at the site that hosts all of the style sheets for the sites (http://www.healthy--life.com/master_files; yes, with two hyphens.) yields some interesting details. Also, a quick Google search for "First, picture your body as a car," will yield other sites.) All of these essentially identical sites list as having cures Acne, Cancer, Eczema, Multiple Sclerosis, AIDS, Cholesterol, Fibromyalgia, Osteoporosis, Arthritis, Chronic Fatigue, Gout, Psoriasis, Athlete's Foot, Depression, Health & Energy, Weight-Loss, Asthma, Diabetes, Lupus, and Yeast Infection. And, to be fair, what he says about gout as being caused by eating too much meat is correct. But you don't need to pay $97 to know that by reducing the amount of red meat you ingest will reduce the incidence of gout. That's no miracle.)

Contradictory Admonitions
The "Disclaimer" in the book he sent me, "The AIDS/HIV Breakthrough Miracle", contains the following,

"Before beginning any practice relating to health, diet or exercise, it is highly recommended that you first obtain the consent and advice of a licensed health care professional.

"The author assumes no responsibility for the choices you make after your review of the information contained herein and your consultation with a licensed healthcare professional.

"None of the statements in this article or in the book have been evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), or the American Medical Association (AMA)."

A standard Disclaimer. However, later in the book, Mr. Anastasi proceeds to attack the very "Heathcare Professionals" he suggests you go see. He says, among other things:

• "The pharmaceutical industry and medical establishment are doing EVERYTHING in their power to discredit 3,000-year old science, even going as far as lobbying the European Commission to pass laws banning vitamin and supplement companies!"
• "The medical monopoly or medical trust, euphemistically called the American Medical Association, is not merely the meanest monopoly ever organized, but the most arrogant, dangerous and despotic organization which ever managed a free people in this or any other age." (Actually part of a 7-page-long quote from "The Drug Story")
• "The medical profession and their pseudo-scientific dogma kills 250,000 Americans a year! They are the 3rd leading cause of death in the U.S!"
• "According to the American Medical Association, the half-life of the current medical education is 4 years. This means that a doctor leaving school today knows 50% more about medicine than someone who left 4 years ago. With so many patients to see, doctors rarely have time to further their education." (Emphasis in Original)

Is Mr. Anastasi bipolar and off his meds?

Pure Marketing
Mr. Anastasi is not a doctor; isn't a scientist and can't practice medicine. What he can do is call himself a specialist in "Online Marketing". No kidding. He's a marketing guy. It's obvious.

A friend of mine who was in the marketing department for a large electronics company used to joke, "I'm from Marketing. You can't believe a word that comes out of my mouth." That joke seems to be painfully real and prescient in Mr. Anastasi's case.

The Ebook seems to be nothing more than a written Multi-Level Marketing seminar. The most telling clue is this quote: "Chances are, the information I will be sharing with you over the next 7 days is unlike ANYTHING you will have ever come across in your life so far." Unless Mr. Anastasi knows that his Ebook will take seven days to read why even mention something about "7 days"?

Further, the Ebook uses the usual MLM technique of repeating the same damn information over and over and over. And the annoying overuse of "You see...." I know people write like they talk, but this is ridiculous!

Clueless Author!
He says that sugar is one of the things, along with Coffee ("pure acid", he says), drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and vinegar, that one should stop eating in order to be healthy. But, earlier in the very same section (Section III, "Nutrients") Mr. Anastasi advocates eating all types of berries (which contain sugar), beets (which, not surprisingly, is the source of beet sugar), and molasses (which is nothin' but sugar).

I'm pretty sure that he means to eliminate eating refined sugar. Why then does he advocate eating molasses which is a byproduct of processing sugar cane into granulated sugar? Regardless of what Mr. Anastasi means he is consistantly unclear and imprecise.

He also says, "you must Eliminate Your Ingestion of Unhealthy Fats & Oils, Animal Flesh, and Dairy Products." And then later on the very same page he says that "essential fatty acids" from "some types of fish are very good for you". Unless there has been some major reclassification of what constitutes an "Animal" these days, aren't fish an animal!? Oh, I know what it is; fish aren't cute and cuddly....

Further, in the tiny section actually dealing with HIV and AIDS, he tosses out a statistic that "95% of all AIDS cases occur in the poorest countries." He then launches into a greatly curtailed version of the tired old "HIV doesn't cause AIDS" and blames AIDS on the "inner terrain" of the person. (Most of the Ebook is devoted to talking about how "polluted" the cells--the "inner terrain"--of all of us have become in the past 50 years and how this "pollution" is the cause of all our problems.) However, the way of life in these "poorest" countries hasn't changed much in the past 50 years. They're still eating the same vegetables (raw and cooked) and the same types of meats they have for decades.

Does this guy actually read what he's writing?

Just because he says it doesn't mean it's true...
Throughout the Ebook Mr. Anastasi makes so many remarkable and unsubstantiated claims it's laughable. The Ebook offers no bibliography to identify any of his sources. The only conclusion is to assume that Mr. Anastasi has simply made up his statements. For example:

• "...Everyone has operated on the mistaken supposition that germs and viruses cause disease."
• "1 in 3 Americans get cancer, but only 1 in 7 American athletes get cancer. Why? Because athletes get a lot more oxygen flowing into their body!"
• "People with fatty, unhealthy diets are often tired and sick. You see, when there’s too much unhealthy fat (and toxins) in your system, your red blood cells stick together, they move more slowly, and as a result you get far less oxygen reaching your cells. Your cells then become weaker – some cells may even die or mutate. That’s why so many studies show high fat intake related to cancer."
• "Our bodies are NOT designed to eat meat!"
• "Milk is the most mucus-forming food you can imagine! The WORST part is, it covers the inside of your intestines and it hardens it like concrete! It coats the villi that absorb the nutrients, preventing them from performing their role!"
• "To really get the most out of your food, ... do not mix carbohydrates with proteins."
• "[Psoriasis and Eczema are] simply acid coming out directly through your skin."
• "AIDS is due to having a highly acidic and toxic bloodstream, where your white blood cells are overcome with toxins and morbid matter."
• "I have seen people go from being HIV-positive to HIV-negative within 30 days of starting to alkalize and energize by taking Dr. Young’s Supergreens™."

Early in the Ebook he actually quotes the Red Pill/Blue Pill speech from Morpheus in The Matrix as a way to drive his point home. I'm astounded that someone would try to use an entirely fictional story as a credible way of getting us to think like he does.

At the very end of the Ebook he lists various "services" he offers. And here they are:

• "Public Speaking
  $4,000 an hour
  Corporate events, seminars, exhibitions, conventions.
  
  
• The LifeQuest Corporate Health-Check
  $12,000 per consultation and delivery of training.
  Benefits: drastically reduce lost productivity due to sick days. Massively increase energy, creativity, and overall wellbeing of your staff.
  
  
• Live Forever Clinic
  $50,000 per intervention.
  Only 12 clients a year.
  The Live Forever Clinic is a London-based consultancy for high net-worth individuals interested in longevity extension and physical immortality.
  We use cutting-edge non-mainstream technology as well as esoteric principles to heal and rejuvenate.
  
  
• LifeQuest Healing Centers®
  $200,000 per franchise
  We are seeking investors to set up LifeQuest Healing Centers around the world, where patients will be treated and healed through natural means, as well as empowered about their health through education."
  

A "Live Forever Clinic"!?!? Please! (One wonders if Dick Clark is a client....)

Conclusion
Anastasi contradicts himself, makes unproven and ridiculous claims, apparently steals information from others, and tries to make us believe he's helping people. The only person he's really trying to help is himself.

The Ebook is badly written, poorly designed, poorly constructed, badly misinformed, and possibly harmful. It takes 81 pages to really just be an advertisement for eating raw foods. Yes, this "miracle breakthrough" is not much more than "Eat Raw Food and your Fill-in-the-Blank illness will go away."

Really, I could go on and on and on; I've completely bypassed whole sections. But I really think this is enough information for anybody to make up their mind about whether or not Mark Anastasi is on the up and up. I'm sure you can figure out what my opinion is.

Crocodile Fat

Apparently, crocodiles are amazing critters. If you pureé one up in a blender, you get the Antidote from earlier (See The Antidote (a.k.a., Extract of Crocodile). And, if you somehow get some crocodile fat away from said croc, you'll be able to cure all sorts of diseases! In both man and beast!!! Amazing!!!

Over on a message board trying to either prove or disprove the Antidote (Here's a hint; IT DOESN'T DO A DAMN THING!) some guy, gal, woman, man, kid, or old fart named Chris Swart says in a message that he has access to crocodile fat which he says has been used "with success" in treating both AIDS and cancer. By success I assume he means has cured.

And, wouldn't ya know it, Mr., Miss, Ms., or Mrs. Swart (I really don't know which.) has just that crocodile fat for SALE!! It's only $100 for 80ml, too! A bargain at, uh, free.... At $100 it's just another fuckin' rip off!

As to how it's supposed to work to cure cancer and AIDS I have no fuckin' idea. I suppose these fuckers that do this sort of crap think that if they come up with something that sounds really, really weird (ie. Noni Juice) or Folksy ("Tapping") or jus' plain nutty (Crocodile fat) people will believe anything they say about it. Fuckin' tools!

Shining a Light (or Two) on Your Torso

This is a photograph of a person having her (or his, I'm not really sure) Assemblage Point realigned using the Lux IV. According to Whale Medical's Very Badly Designed Web Page, "With all serious illness its location will almost always be found in an adverse position. In the case of serious misalignment, if the patient's Assemblage Point location is not moved back to a central location, the chances of recovery are drastically reduced - regardless of medication or therapies undertaken."

"What is this Assemblage Point bullshit?" you ask. It's a point just to the right of your breast bone. In women, it's higher than men. And, if that Assemblage Point shifts down.... well, you'd better get ready to die.

According to Jon Whale and his web site:

This is a dangerous, uncomfortable and distressing location indicated by very low mental and physical energy with acute psychological instability and physiological disturbances. Frontal brain energy will be low impairing the functions of the endocrine glands and organs. From this location it is virtually impossible to recover without realignment of the Assemblage Point. As the Assemblage Point's rear location or pivot point drops down from the shoulder blade area, muscular coordination becomes affected.

With this location, serious psychiatric or physical illness will often be present such as auto immune disease syndrome (A.I.D.S.), cancer, meningitis, cerebral thrombosis, apoplexy, clinical depression, post natal depression, myalgic encephalomyelitis (M.E. syndrome) and multiple sclerosis (M.S. syndrome).

Pay no attention to the fact they got the meaning of AIDS completely wrong (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). Besides, I bet you thought AIDS was caused by HIV, didn't you? Bet you didn't know that it was caused by a shift in your Assemblage Point. I bet you didn't even know you had an Assemblage Point. See? I'm just here to educate!

So, to realign your Assemblage Point, you need to use the Lux IV. Which just shines colored light onto your body. They have all sorts of infrared pictures of "patients" after treatment showing greater warmth in the area "treated" with light. Nevermind that the light itself is probably causing the warm skin. Such obvious truths mean nothing to Mr. Whale!

Regardless, the light that Mr. Wacko uses is filtered through crystals, gems, and colored gels. Why? I don't know. I suppose to make it pretty. And to give the impression that something is actually happening when it really isn't.

Note to Jon Whale: AIDS is caused by HIV and can't be helped--in any way--by shining light on a person's body. No matter how many purty colors of light are used.

(The highly clinical photograph earlier in this post was taken from http://www.whalemedical.com/ap1.html and then cropped.)

UPDATE: The ParaZapper™

One David Etheredge has taken me to task on his bullshit ParaZapper™. Reproduced here is his comment on my ParaZapper™ post. I make my comments in Bold and Blue:

Dear lacking in knowlege and intelligence, (That's a good way to make friends.)

Of all things, besides being a complete idiot, you are a complete liar. (No, you are the liar, you nit-wit. Lying implies deceit or intent to deceive. I made a simple error in who owns the trademark to ParaZapper™; which, by the way, is still bullshit no matter who owns the trademark. I in no way intended to deceive who owned the trademark. You, however, *are* intending to deceive with your bullshit.)

First, Dr. Clark Does not own, have any interest in, or any involvement with ParaZapper!

I am the owner of the trademark ParaZapper and I am the design engineer who creates all of the products owned by the company Para Systems and Devices, LLC. These are based on her design but are improvements beyond. (Fair enough. However, you really should learn how to make complete sentences before you go blasting away at people.)

None of the ParaZapper sites are Dr. Clarks and she does not get any money or any thing else from us except an occasional letter thanking her for her efforts. (So, she gives away her books on her fake cures for all diseases? She has no vested interest in trying to get people to electrocute themselves to abate their cancer?)

Additionally, Dr. Clarks zapper is free to build yourself and there are published schematics all over the internet for various models.

While we do offer our products as available for HIV and AIDS infected individuals we do not offer them as a cure. We also have a money back guarantee. (Oh, come now. Don't insult my intelligence. You say that HIV and AIDS may be caused by parasites and, all over your web site, you also say that your ParaZapper™ kills the parasites that make one ill. How can you keep that information completely insulated from each other? C'mon!)

We also do not suggest that anyone use the ParaZapper in place of any medication. (Nice way to cover your ass in the event you get sued by anybody who's harmed by your bullshit. You must sleep really, really well at night.)

For your information, ParaZapper is being tested at a major US university and does show a reduction of viral load in many but not all cases. (Yeah, yeah. Which "major US university"? Yale? Certainly not. MIT? Doubtful. College of CowFart, Alabama? Probably. Who's doing the testing? What department? What's the person's name? What's their specialty? When did they start testing? When do they expect to finish?)

As for the individual who told the Yahoo chat room visitor that ParaZapper was BS, which model did that well advised person buy and use that made him such an authority? (I'm *extremely* pleased that you recognize that the person who says your ParaZapper™ is bullshit was well-advised! Now, if you could just stop saying that your bullshit device will actually help people... Naw, that might cut into your revenue stream....)

Mr. Etheredge, thank you for your comments. You have allowed the world (Or at least the readers of this blog) to see what kind of asshole you really are. And, next time you want to go galavanting around the internet and calling people liars, you should probably look yourself in the mirror before you go throwing stones in your glass house.

While the ParaZapper™ is still bullshit, I have corrected the original ParaZapper™ post to reflect who actually owns the trademark.

Tapping Spots on Your Body and Thinking Happy Thoughts

I'm going to go out on a limb for this one. While today's bullshitter never actually says that his crap will cure AIDS, he doesn't deny it either. In fact, he calls this process a "Universal Healing Aid." The asshole says that his "Universal Healing Aid" has helped--either completely or partially--the thousands of problems, including "Headaches, back pain, stiff neck and shoulders, joint pains, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, ulcerative colitis, [and] psoriasis." The dickwad further states that "There are many, many more [physical ailments]. A complete list is several times as long." What a dick!

And now, the Bullshit!

Today's cure (for everything, no less) comes from the website of Gary Craig. He says that just by tapping specific points on your body in sequence and thinking that you're still a wonderful person, you can cure primarily emotional problems. Which is probably why he calls it "Emotional Freedom Techniques". (Or, EFT. And I thought it meant "Electronic Funds Transfer." Silly me!!) He goes on to mention that several people have had their physical ailments aleviated.

Of all the stupid things he says, this one caught my eye. He says that a woman attended one of his overpriced seminars (they'd be overpriced even if they were free) who had vision problems. After doing the tapping and thinking, she said that her vision had cleared! How's that for completely unprovable!?! How's that for an asounding lack of proof???!!!

My guess is that his positive thinking process (which is what this really is) really can work on some emotional problems. However, Mr. Craig (who makes a point of saying he's an ordained minister; being ordained isn't difficult to get done) realized that he needed to bilk more money out of more people so he could make the payments on his yacht. Therefore, he started inferring that people could cure their physical problems (lupus, for example) through his bullshit.

This bullshit is no different than faith healing. The big difference here is that to attend one of Gary's bullshit sessions, you gotta pay him for the honor. Upwards of $200 or more. (He says that he's currently offering a 1/2 off discount for his upcomming tapping crap. Which means, he really wants to charge $400.) This fucker is just another asshole out to get more money from people who are desperate enough to part with it.

Eating Raw Fruits and Vegetables (I guess)

The fuckin' asshole promoting today's cure is starting to really piss me off with the spam he's sending me so here' goes....

Today's Fucker, Mark Anastasi never actually says what his fucking cure is but alludes to "alkalizing and energizing". I presume from the other shit coming from the fucker's mail box that he means eating raw fruits and vegetables.

Typical of the style of spam Mr. Anastasia sends, there's a fuck-load of hyperbole and rhetoric that really doesn't say a damn thing. It all leads down to "BUY MY E-BOOK FOR $97!!!". Who in their right fuckin' mind would pay $97 for a friggin' E-book???

Mr. Anashitsi here says his mission is "To add massively to the sum of happiness and wellbeing in the world", whatever the fuck that means. I presume it means adding to the sum in his already swelling bank accounts.

The crap-filled E-Mail report he send out on his "The Truth About HIV/AIDS" starts out with the usual,

"None of the information contained in this eBook is intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease, nor is it intended to prescribe any of the techniques, materials or concepts presented as a form of treatment for any illness or medical condition."

But then goes right ahead and tells you (or, at the very least, infers) how you can prevent, treat, and cure AIDS. (Eating raw fruits and vegetables.)

According to his own web site, Mr. Ashitsi is "a public speaker and entrepreneur specializing in the areas of Health & Nutrition and Online Marketing." No kidding. So, he's not a doctor but proposes to know, not only the real cause of AIDS (the ubiquitous "toxins") but how to get rid of it. And, even says that he's seen people go from HIV Positive to HIV Negative in 30 days. Whatta fuckin' tool!

He's only out to make a quick and easy Sucker-buck on his AIDS Breakthrough. Which really isn't his to begin with. It's really from some Dr. R. O. Young. But, the upshot is, according to the spam Mr. Ashittinyu sends, "You MUST be alkaline". And, no, he doesn't give any information on how he wants you to be alkaline. You gotta pay $97 to figger out that....

Don't sign up for his fucking E-Mail report; don't buy his fucking E-book. However, go ahead and eat more fruits and vegetables; you'll feel better. You won't be cures of HIV nor AIDS nor cancer nor diabetes but you will feel better.

(There. Now I can get this fuckin' asshole out of my Inbox.... And, to let you know what kind of person this mouth-breathing fucker is, he doesn't even try to pretend that he's not trying to sell you something. When you try to unsubscribe from the mailing list you never signed up for, it's called the "AIDS Sales Page".)

The Antidote (a.k.a., Extract of Crocodile)

No, I don't know what that means, either.

They call it, "The Antidote"; a Biological Miracle. This crap "is a unique Anti-Microbial Peptide offering the widest range of healing power on the market today. It kills all known deadly VIRUSES and BACTERIA in the body." Nevermind the fact an antidote is used to counteract poisons; such distinctions and actual definitions aren't appropriate for these people.

But no matter; they claim that with the Antidote, "The common cold is a thing of the past, even serious infectious diseases such as Cancer, HIV, SARS and many other life threatening diseases can be helped by the miracle healing powers of the Antidote." (Apparently, they've not only found a cure for cancer, they've also discovered that cancer is an infection and is caused by a virus and/or bacteria. Who knew!!???)

I don't know how they extract it, either. Do they put a whole crocodile in a blender and switch to Puree? Ice Crush? Hold a specimen jar underneath a certain part of the crocodile?

Anyway, they want you to have this all-inclusive crocodile puree but "The Antidote is only available from Biologicalmiracle.com's Internet website". Not because they want to bilk desperate people out of money but because drug companies don't want you to have it because they "would be losing billions every day if this product was on the shelf next to their major brands." (Uh, wouldn't the Drug Company™ that made, marketed, and sold this thing be making billions if it actually worked??? But that would require that pesky FDA approval process and clinical trials and such...)

Oh, but WAIT! They have a clinical trial. It lasted for about a month in Puerto Rico and involved, as best I can tell, 12 people. Well! That's good enough for me! Screw the FDA! Screw the facts! Screw testing!!! Bring on The Antidote! Oh, wait. That's supposed to be the Antidote. (Why the hell do they put it in red and bold like that? Does that lend some sort of non-existant credibility?)

And doesn't any company that makes a drug become a Drug Company by default?? Again, that deals with pesky definitions and such... We have no time for, you know, facts and bullshit like that....

While they don't tell you how much the Croc Juice costs on the web site (it's $49.95 a bottle) it comes in 5ml bottles. Yes, $10 per cc. (Ok, if you want to split hairs, it's $9.99 a cc)

Finally, they keep taking pains to point out that it's a peptide made from "a Natural Protein made up of Amino Acids." I'm no biologist but I always thought that proteins were always amino acids.

So, make friends with Steve Irwin! Cure all that ails you (unless it's a fungus) with a Crocodile smoothie! (Can I have mine with a margarita?)

Bouncing on a Trampoline

This has got to be about the nuttiest thing I've come across.

Reboundology. The study of bouncing. Boingy, boingy. Boingy.

Sometime ago, this guy (a "reboundologist"; one who studies bouncing) bounced into the HIV/AIDS:1 chat room on Yahoo!Chat and proclaimed to the world (or at least the 30 or so of us in the chat room) that by simply bouncing on a trampoline one could cure him- or herself of AIDS. But not only AIDS! According to the bouncing moron's web site bouncing on a trampoline will cause "just about everything docotrs deem as 'incurable' or 'chronic,' including arthritis, asthma, cancer, chronic fatigure, diabetes, lupus, and multiple sclerosis" to "disappear on its own with nothing more than rebound exercise combined with a healthy diet." And, by his own personal story, bouncing around like a twit will also reverse the aging process! (Eva Gabor would be so proud. And so would Ponce de Leon....)


(Since the bouncing asshole hasn't been able to master the art of typing into a web editor and finds it easier to put text on the web in an IMAGE, I've reproduced that image here; just in case he's able to pull his head out of his ass long enough to learn to use "Notepad" and decides to use text in the future. The links on the image here won't work, but the ones on the web site will.)

Exactly how this bouncing thing works, I'm not sure. But I assume it somehow jiggles the little evil things causing all these problems (you know, your genes, dna, viruses, bacteria, etc.) to somehow bounce--boing!--out of the body. Or I guess it might work like those little gopher chasers that don't work. Or if by combining yesterday's cure with this one you can double the chances of making at least one of the fucking fake cures work.

What the HELL are these people thinking!? BOUNCING cures AIDS and cancer!?! Are cancer cells like magnets that, when realigned by jiggling, somehow get destroyed!? Is HIV somehow unable to find a CD4+ cell to infect if they're both bouncing 20 minutes a day? What the FUCK!!???

This fucker is just out to make a buck. Yeah, he's got a semi-inspirational story but it's bullshit! He's got books, and video tapes and, of course, the trampoline you can buy from him to "bounce your way back to health".

Now, yes, exercise is good. Without it, we'd all probably just turn into couch monkies sitting and doing nothing. Getting fatter and fatter. And I do think that everybody should exercise more and eat better. (I know I should.) But bouncing on an itty bitty trampoline ain't gonna cure anything and very well might make you nauseous. And, if memory serves correctly, these little trampolines were also sold as an exercise device back in the primitive 1970's. They didn't do much then, and they don't do much now.

But, one thing's for sure, though. If Bouncing on a Trampoline cures all sorts of diseases, The Juggies over on The Man Show will never get sick.

Drinking Water (Shaken, Not Stirred)

Yes, you read that correctly. Drinking water can cure AIDS. The water is prepared by shaking it in a bottle. It is then ingested.

Who knew!? Who knew that by shaking your little Crystal Geyser, Evian, or even your Perrier bottles before drinking the water you could cure a horrible viral condition like AIDS. Oh, and herpes, hepatitis, Epstein Barr, and even cytomegalovirus (CMV). So, since CMV Retinitis can cause one to go blind, all you have to do to restore your vision and stop CMV Retintits from progressing is shake your water bottle. To stop hepatitis from destroying your liver, drink water! To rid your body of shingles (i.e., herpes zoster) shake that water bottle!!

"Shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! Shake your water! Shake your water!"

About midway down http://cure4all.info/cure4aids/HyperBloodOxygenation.html(which deals with, among other bullshit, drinking diluted hydrogen peroxide) it states in the "Hydrogen Peroxide in Nature" segment "By just shaking a bottle of water vigorously for a while you can tuck enough extra oxygen into it to form detectable amounts of H₂O₂ [hydrogen peroxide], improving its purity, flavor and vitality."

(I wonder if you can jus' go get on a trampoline after drinking a quart of water that you forgot to shake.... Or, if a martini is good enough...)

Water is necessary for life. One can live for days and days without food but only a short while without water. As I'm sure you know, the human body is comprised mostly of water. (And, having juiced my first carrots in my juicer the other day, carrots contain a surprising amount of water, too. But I digress.) And while simply shaking your bottle of water before drinking it may form some H₂O₂ in the bottle, it won't get a chance to interact with HIV in the blood stream since there's no blood in the stomach. (Unless there's something else horribly wrong. Then, you should go to the ER...) Yeah, I know there are some nutrients that are passed into the blood stream through the stomach lining but where are the studies about H₂O₂ passing, unchanged, into the blood? And, if oxygen is released when the H₂O₂ hits "pathogens" in the stomach, why isn't it jus' burped out?

All I can see that this would do is give you gas; and that web site gave it to me bad... >URP!<

The ParaZapper™

Ya know, I'm not a doctor like Dr. Hulda Clark here but I can't see how any doctor would think that HIV or AIDS might be caused by parasites. (Yeah, I know, a virus is a type of parasite.) But that nut-ball theory is exactly what's suggested on Dr. Clark's web site. (On another web site, a Dr. Clark claims no affiliation with that site. But who knows who the hell to believe??) And--surprise of surprises!--wonder of wonders!!--Dr. Clark has invented just the device to help kill those evil non-existant parasites causing one's HIV infection--The ParaZapper™!!! You can buy it directly from her! (Available now for a limited time. Time limited by the FDA slapping a fine on her ass!) Oh, and she David Etheredge, the owner of the ParaZapper™, of course, refers those with advanced AIDS to buy the most expensive, uh, "device" on the web site.

And she's trademarked "ParaZapper™" so she owns the name. Which means another revenue stream if she decides to sue someone for mentioning the ParaZapper™ without mentioning who owns it. So, ParaZapper™ is a trademark of Dr. Clark. Don't use it unless you want to give Dr. Clark even more money. (See correction below)

Doctors are supposed to heal; that's theoretically why they chose that profession. But Dr. Clark professes to know a cure for HIV and AIDS which doesn't exist. She, too, is preying on people who are desperate for an answer--a cure--where there is none. She should be ashamed of herself.

(The Zapper was mentioned in passing in the HIV/AIDS:1 chat room on Yahoo! by a member who has 70 CD4+ cells and a viral load of 80,000. He wasn't taking meds because he didn't want to possibly develop resistance since he may be leaving the US to live in Africa and didn't want to start taking meds in the US and then discover those meds weren't available in Africa. (I asked, "Which is worse? The possibility of resistance or death?") He wanted to know if The Zapper was any good. He was told that The Zapper was Bullshit. And it is.)

CORRECTION (8/1/05): ParaZapper™ is a trademark of Para Systems and Devices, LLC. I regret the error but the ParaZapper™ is still bullshit. Para Systems claims no affiliation with http://www.parazapper.com/ even though their sites are essentially identical.

There have been Updates to this post! Update One Update Two Update Three

(Dr. Clark's unattractive picture taken from www.bestzapper.com/WhoIsDrClark.htm.)