UPDATE: Mark Anastasi

A continuation of the "Eating Raw Fruits and Vegetables" post....

I've recently been honored by an email message directly from Mr. Mark Anastasi. I can't say how pleased I was that my blog is getting more and more notoriety. Unfortunately, Mr. Anastasi didn't have very nice things to say about me. Here's what he wrote to me:

"Dear Bryan,

I have just checked out your blog on AIDS.

It is very unfortunate that you have fallen what [sic] the pharmaceutical industry's lies and medical establishment's pseudo-science.

I have attached a copy of my ebook, free of charge, and hope to educate you about what is REALLY going on.

This is bonafide GENUINE information.
You are doing a lot of people a disservice by advertising your ignorance.

Fair warning: I am going to instruct my lawyers to start legal proceedings against you by the end of the month unless your blog is removed, for defamation of character.

Best regards
Mark Anastasi"

Ok, I checked out my post ridiculing him. There's no "defamation of character". Nothing I say is a lie or false. Here's a hint to Mr. Anastasi: It isn't libel or slander if it's true...

I find it almost hysterical that he mentions the "medical establishment's pseudo-science". I challege Mr. Anastasi to produce independantly verified and published (in JAMA or similar journal) proof that what he says is true. I think I'll just sit here and wait for him to do so.

It may be "genuine information" but that doesn't mean it's true or right or correct or any number of other synonyms.

Regardless, I apprecaite his unsolicited mailing of his 3 megabyte .pdf file. I would love to pass it out to those who might ask; unfortunately, I can't. Not only would that be illegal (copyright laws, etc.) but the damn .pdf file is broken. I can't even open it myself. Oh, well...

And, Mr. Anastasi, your grammar stinks.

Administrative Note: Blog is still not dead....

This blog still is not dead nor dying; not even close. It's just taking me longer than I had anticipated to get the new home up and running.

On the plus side, I have discovered a few things. Most notably: Chickens are from outer space and, after a somewhat convoluted process, can help cure AIDS. Do you know how hard it is to not laugh while browsing the Internet in a Library?? I do...

(And, Crocodiles are a hot commodity these days; I get more people searching for crocodile crap (not literally) coming to this blog than anything else...)

Anyway, I thought I'd just give a little update. Give me another 2-4 weeks before I can start blogging every day again... (ugh!)

Administrative Note: Moving Day

Moving Day has arrived.

This blog is not dead; nor is it dying. The author has moved to a new location which doesn't have many of the modern conveniences of modern life. Such as electricity. Nor phone service.

But, don't fret! Both utilities will come in the future! It will take about two or three weeks for any regular posting to resume on this blog. It won't be every day for about a month or so after that.

There are still plenty of false claims of AIDS cures to keep this blog going.

If you would like to be notified when this blog resumes its daily postings, please send mail to aidscureblognotice@yahoo.com . I promise to never, ever, NEVER send any spam nor to sell your email address or even send you anything other than a notice that the blog has resumed daily postings. I fuckin' *HATE* spam!!!

Wish me luck in the wilds of California. I may need it!

Crocodile Fat

Apparently, crocodiles are amazing critters. If you pureé one up in a blender, you get the Antidote from earlier (See The Antidote (a.k.a., Extract of Crocodile). And, if you somehow get some crocodile fat away from said croc, you'll be able to cure all sorts of diseases! In both man and beast!!! Amazing!!!

Over on a message board trying to either prove or disprove the Antidote (Here's a hint; IT DOESN'T DO A DAMN THING!) some guy, gal, woman, man, kid, or old fart named Chris Swart says in a message that he has access to crocodile fat which he says has been used "with success" in treating both AIDS and cancer. By success I assume he means has cured.

And, wouldn't ya know it, Mr., Miss, Ms., or Mrs. Swart (I really don't know which.) has just that crocodile fat for SALE!! It's only $100 for 80ml, too! A bargain at, uh, free.... At $100 it's just another fuckin' rip off!

As to how it's supposed to work to cure cancer and AIDS I have no fuckin' idea. I suppose these fuckers that do this sort of crap think that if they come up with something that sounds really, really weird (ie. Noni Juice) or Folksy ("Tapping") or jus' plain nutty (Crocodile fat) people will believe anything they say about it. Fuckin' tools!

Aliens

No, not the illegal ones from across the border. (At least, I don't think it's those.) Taken from the Yahoo!Chat room, HIV/AIDS:1:

Zaxian: the ALIENS gave me the CURE TO AIDS and its posted on my website, the CHuRCH CREATED THE AIDS VIRUS (no kidding), Yahoo is blocking web links (how nice), so you have to manually type it in.... w w w . kingtechnica . c o m (no spaces) 80

I really wish I could get that site to come up!!! I keep getting "refused connection" errors. I'm guessing there's a DNS error somewhere in the world that's preventing this from loading. DAMMIT!

This fucker is just SO ripe for ridicule, I'm frothing at the mouth!

Sim Saie Badour

Don't bother Google-ing for it. Don't try Yahoo! to search for it either. Don't ask www.ask.com 'cause they won't know about it. Don't even think about Wikipedia, either. Don't try MSN, AOL, nor Netscape. In fact, as far as I can even tell, this very page you're reading now is the only mention of this thing on the entire internet. (No wonder nobody's ever heard of it. Must be good if nobody's heard of it...)

This "Sim Saie Badour", according to Yahoo!Messenger user "Waldo1112003", is a flower that grows in the mountains of Japan. He can get you the flower for yourself for a mere $5,000. However, for a couple extra credit points he does say that you pay him "when i come back and if it works". And by "works" he means that the HIV antibody test that used to show "positive" will show "negative". And all this in only "i year" from the time you start eating the flower.

Oh, the flower has to be kept at 102 degrees for it to be kept alive. Nevermind that the mountains of Japan get snow in winter; it's really warm Japanese Snow.

Waldo said that he had documented proof that this flower does cure AIDS and that he'd send it to me, but he never did. Unless he's out there right now trying to concoct it...

I told him, "Ok. You got me.... You go to Japan, get me a flower. Bring it to me, and I'll start eating it. If, within the year my HIV test results come up negative, you can have $5,000. Just email me when you return from Japan with the flower and I'll let you know how to get the flower to me. Then, I'll contact you at the end of a year and let you know if it worked or not." But he never responded. Even to the polite and charming, "Yoo-hoo!!!" I sent him. Guess I hafta go to Japan and play "Where's Waldo's Flower" on my own....

Administrative Note: Blog Slow-down

This blog is not dead, nor is it dying.

The author (ME!) is moving and will be without utility-supplied electricity for several weeks. Over the next week, you will notice a slow down in the frequency of posting these bogus cures for AIDS. After about a week of this slow-down, (around August 11, 2005) the posting will (probably) stop for a couple weeks. After those couple of weeks are up (around August 29, 2005), the posting frequency will pick back up. Though probably not daily. At the very least, once or twice a week.

Then sometime in September or early October (once the utility-supplied electricity starts), the daily posts will commence again. I have in no way run out of bogus cures for AIDS. In fact, I have at least seven sitting in my queue right now.

If you would like to be notified when the AIDS Cure of the Day™ returns to daily posting, please send me mail at aidscureblognotice@yahoo.com .

There will be no AIDS Cure for today. There will be one tomorrow.

God

Yes, but which god?? Zeus? Loki? Pelé?

No, today's cure is none other than the Generic Christian God. (I'll call him--or her, or them, or it--GCG for short...) Over on a web site for The Hallelujah Prayer Warriors a bunch of Southern Baptists claim that their little prayer circle is forcing the Generic Christian God to heal entire countries of AIDS. Yes, really.

They say, "A few years ago, a group of Christians in the United States of America began praying against AIDS." How does one pray "against" AIDS? Does anybody really pray in support of AIDS? I doubt these people really have any idea what AIDS is nor does. But, no matter... They're speaking to GOD!

They say to these poor, HIV-ravaged countries, "Turn to God, repent of your sins, receive Jesus Christ as your Saviour and ask God to heal your land."

Look, you damn baptists! If your Generic Christian God is all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-powerful and since your Generic Christian God will do what he, she, it, or they want to do, why do you presume so damn much to think that your itty bitty prayer group will do anything?? As best I can see, your prayer circle has only allowed you fuckers to become arrogant ("Our prayer group made God heal!"), self-righteous ("Our prayer group did more than your prayer group!"), and prideful ("Our Prayer Group gets results!").

STOP IT! Why don't you just admit that your prayer group does NOTHING except make its members feel like they're doing something? God will do what he (she, it or they) wants; a fucking prayer group won't sway God's opinion one way or the other. (Fucking baptists....)

(I believe God wanted me to write the above post. Including the swearing. If he hadn't wanted me to write it, he would have blown up my keyboard. He would have struck me down with lightening. He would have sent a power surge to my computer. He would have done something to prevent me from writing it. Since he didn't, I presume that it's God's will this message be posted on the Interent!)

Blood-letting

Throw that Time Machine into reverse! "Out with the old, in with the new!!" We're going to ancient Greece!!!!!

Back through Dr. Salk's time! Back through tuberculosis patients kept in Mammoth Cave! Back through the discovery of ether as an anesthetic! Back! BACK! Back beyond the discovery of the human skeleton! Back beyond the Middle Ages!! Back beyond Mary and Joseph in the barn!! Back all the way to 400 BCE.

Ah! Greece!! The time of Zeus and Hera! The time of Aphrodite and Hermes! The time of a whole bunch of bad information!

Look over there! The catapult has just been invented! There goes Socrates philosophising away! He doesn't know that next year he'll be killed by drinking hemlock. Poor fellow!

There's Hippocrates slicing open a vein in a guy to let out the bad blood; just like our buddy, Ashok T. Jaisinghani, thinks will cure AIDS. You'll remember Mr. Jiggywithit from the earlier post on Vitamin K.

This time, Mr. Jocularity is even offering a reward of 50,000 rupees to any doctor who can prove that blood-letting won't help AIDS at all! 50,000!!! That sounds like a lot, doesn't it! I bet I could buy a whole car with that!

After a quick trip to the calculator with today's exchange rate in hand, I discover that 50,000 rupees--that Oh-so-big-sounding number!--is really only about $1,100. Crap! I was hoping for a new car.....

Regarding this pittance of a reward, Mr. Jamababa says that "Only crazy persons would attempt to prove the impossible." Something tells me that Mr. Jiggerofwhiskeytoomany knows a lot about crazy people. You know... Being crazy enough to think that blood-letting will cure any infection, much less AIDS.

Mr. Jaundice goes on to complain about "multi-national companies" making money off of the "ignorant and panic-stricken AIDS patients" of India. And, while Mr. Jamminhandin here isn't asking for any money for his really, really bad advice he still is hurting people. The very same panic-stricken people he's trying to protect.

Finally, a person with HIV/AIDS has many, many frequent and regular blood tests. After all those trips to the phlebotomist; after all that blood is removed on a regular basis; after all of those little vials of blood are taken you would think--if blood-letting did anything--that somone, somewhere, at sometime would have been healed of AIDS.

UPDATE 2: The ParaZapper™

After a long and thoughtful evening, Mr. Etheredge has posted to the blog again. Again, my comments are in blue and bold.

Well Bryan, I am glad that you were able to fix one of your errors. I am also glad that our several thousand customers a year do not agree with you. (You're glad of that because your deceit is lining your pockets.)

Really, how can you say that [something is bullshit] about something that you have not tried? And you seem to do that a lot about a lot of things. It looks like your are representing the pharmaceutical companies because they are afraid of these products. Again, we have thousands of very happy customers. (I am not representing anybody other than me. You, on the other hand, are trying to get money from people who are desperate for a cure where none exisits. Test tube results don't always translate to real-world results. If you were anything remotely resembling a scientist you would know that. However, I'm getting the feeling you're one of those annoying marketing assholes.

And, if pharmaceutical companies are afraid of your bullshit like you say they are, why is that? Because of money? Please tell me how your selling your bullshit ParaZapper™ is *any* different from that?

Also, anecdotal stories are *not* proof. If you want to play the numbers game try this on for size: You may have thousands of happy customers but how many tens- and hundreds of thousands are happy with pharmaceuticals?)

As a matter of fact, on a university campus right close to you, there are several of our ParaZappers available for free use by HIV infected individuals. (Yeah? Which one? Why don't you say which one?)

I am told by the department head that the units are in high demand. We also sell a lot in your area to those who can afford their own after trying the free usage units. (Names; I want names! Cold hard facts, bubba! I want numbers! Who is the department head? Which department? C'mon! Stop being so evasive!)

You mentioned that we suggested our most expensive model for AIDS and HIV. It is refreshing to see the pharmaceutical companies charging aspirin prices for their AIDs medications. And so far, these medications work so well that ( heck, what are they having? 5-6 percent success? ). (Again, how is your charging a lot of money for your bullshit *any* different than what you're accusing them of doing!? The difference I see is that they have independantly verified proof that has been peer-reveiewed and you don't. Mainly because your bullshit simply doesn't work.

And, what do you define as a "success"? A verifiable and continued reduction in Viral Load? [Success rate: nearly 100% for pharmaceuticals] Absolute cure? [Success rate: 0% across the board because there is no cure for HIV nor AIDS.] Simply feeling better with no objective evidence whatsoever? [Success rate: Who knows?])

Also, We do not sell or promote Colloidial Silver, but I have heard of amazing results coming out of the University there. (Again, which university?? Colloidial Silver is bullshit. It didn't work in the 1980's and it doesn't work now.)

Regardless of what you may believe, ParaZapper works, and so does Colloidial Silver! (What do you define as "works"? Does your bullshit ParaZapper™ shoot the body with electricity? Sure; I have no doubt that it does. Does it do anything to viruses? No. If you think it does then maybe you can describe for me and everybody else how the electricity knows to differentiate between a normal body cell and a virus cell. Also, please describe, in detail, how it knows to only zap the harmful bacteria and not the good bacteria?)

So the next time you want to blast some product that you do not know sh-t about, think of this. If you bought a product that did not work, what would you do? First, get your money back. Second complain to the Better Business Bureau, Third complain to the FTC, and fourth, sue!.

1) We rarely are asked for a refund but always give it provided that terms are met. (And what are those terms? That it's returned the day after it's shipped unused and unopened and untouched by human hands? C'mon. If you *really* stood behind your bullshit product, you'd not have such a qualifier as "provided that terms are met.")

2) We have never had a complaint against us at the Better Business Bureau. (Are you a member of the Better Business Bureau? I don't see a single reference on your site about it, so I assume no; you're not. And, the BBB only registers complaints against its members. Your argument here is moot.)

3) We have never had a complaint filed against us at the FTC. (Perhaps your customers don't know they can complain to the FTC. Or, perhaps, the FTC doesn't have enough complaints on your product to bother with. Again, a moot point, bubba. Also, it would be the FDA that would be concerned about you since you're promoting cures that don't exist.)

4) We have never been threatened with a lawsuit. (That you know about. I'm sure lots of people threaten a lawsuit that the defendant knows nothing about.)

You might consider that a person who presents false information may end up hurting those who follow their suggestions. Some may die because you gave them uninformed thoughts! (The only one between us offering a false sense of hope is you. YOU are helping to let people DIE because YOU tell them that you have a cure when none exists. Don't go trying to get on your high moral horse with me, scum bag.)

Before you go out and blast products and people, find out the real truth. Talk to actual customers who have used the products which you obviously have not. (Again, anecdotal stories are not proof. Show me some actual peer-reviewed studies and publications in qualified medical journals that your bullshit ParaZapper™ does what you say it will and I will consider removing your crap from the web site. Until then, it stays.)

If ParaZapper did not work, then why would customers call and order more for other family members? (Anecdotal at best.)

Lastly Bryan, while you can mislead others out there who have not tried ParaZapper, you can not mislead our customers because they at least know the truth. Over 50 percent of our new customers come from seeing the results that someone else had. (Mislead? *I'm* misleading people!? How is pointing out that there is no cure for HIV and AIDS misleading people? How is calling your fucking bullshit on the carpet for the bullshit that it is misleading?)

ParaZapper is only one of over 50 companies that manufacture and sell parasite zappers. (And that makes it better some how? That makes you somehow immune to ridicule?)

It is estimated that between 50 thousand and 100 thousand units are sold a year and doubling every year. (Which is it? 50,000 or 100,000. That's a big difference. So, it's doubling every year, eh? If it doubled every year, every person on the planet would have one within 17 years of the first 50,000-unit year. Can you forward your sales figures which bear-up your outlandish statement? Didn't think so....)

Oh! and one last question. If our product is so bad, why do our customers not put up pages like this? (Maybe because they were embarrased to be taken in so completely by your bullshit. And, how do you know that your customers haven't put up a page like this? How do you know that I'm *not* one of your customers? Have you checked and asked each and every one of your 10,000-or so customers? Didn't think so.)

Mr. Etheredge, unless you provide cold, hard facts or an article in JAMA (or another qualified peer-reviewed medical journal) in any reply, comment, or post, this is the end of the conversation.

Shining a Light (or Two) on Your Torso

This is a photograph of a person having her (or his, I'm not really sure) Assemblage Point realigned using the Lux IV. According to Whale Medical's Very Badly Designed Web Page, "With all serious illness its location will almost always be found in an adverse position. In the case of serious misalignment, if the patient's Assemblage Point location is not moved back to a central location, the chances of recovery are drastically reduced - regardless of medication or therapies undertaken."

"What is this Assemblage Point bullshit?" you ask. It's a point just to the right of your breast bone. In women, it's higher than men. And, if that Assemblage Point shifts down.... well, you'd better get ready to die.

According to Jon Whale and his web site:

This is a dangerous, uncomfortable and distressing location indicated by very low mental and physical energy with acute psychological instability and physiological disturbances. Frontal brain energy will be low impairing the functions of the endocrine glands and organs. From this location it is virtually impossible to recover without realignment of the Assemblage Point. As the Assemblage Point's rear location or pivot point drops down from the shoulder blade area, muscular coordination becomes affected.

With this location, serious psychiatric or physical illness will often be present such as auto immune disease syndrome (A.I.D.S.), cancer, meningitis, cerebral thrombosis, apoplexy, clinical depression, post natal depression, myalgic encephalomyelitis (M.E. syndrome) and multiple sclerosis (M.S. syndrome).

Pay no attention to the fact they got the meaning of AIDS completely wrong (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). Besides, I bet you thought AIDS was caused by HIV, didn't you? Bet you didn't know that it was caused by a shift in your Assemblage Point. I bet you didn't even know you had an Assemblage Point. See? I'm just here to educate!

So, to realign your Assemblage Point, you need to use the Lux IV. Which just shines colored light onto your body. They have all sorts of infrared pictures of "patients" after treatment showing greater warmth in the area "treated" with light. Nevermind that the light itself is probably causing the warm skin. Such obvious truths mean nothing to Mr. Whale!

Regardless, the light that Mr. Wacko uses is filtered through crystals, gems, and colored gels. Why? I don't know. I suppose to make it pretty. And to give the impression that something is actually happening when it really isn't.

Note to Jon Whale: AIDS is caused by HIV and can't be helped--in any way--by shining light on a person's body. No matter how many purty colors of light are used.

(The highly clinical photograph earlier in this post was taken from http://www.whalemedical.com/ap1.html and then cropped.)

UPDATE: The ParaZapper™

One David Etheredge has taken me to task on his bullshit ParaZapper™. Reproduced here is his comment on my ParaZapper™ post. I make my comments in Bold and Blue:

Dear lacking in knowlege and intelligence, (That's a good way to make friends.)

Of all things, besides being a complete idiot, you are a complete liar. (No, you are the liar, you nit-wit. Lying implies deceit or intent to deceive. I made a simple error in who owns the trademark to ParaZapper™; which, by the way, is still bullshit no matter who owns the trademark. I in no way intended to deceive who owned the trademark. You, however, *are* intending to deceive with your bullshit.)

First, Dr. Clark Does not own, have any interest in, or any involvement with ParaZapper!

I am the owner of the trademark ParaZapper and I am the design engineer who creates all of the products owned by the company Para Systems and Devices, LLC. These are based on her design but are improvements beyond. (Fair enough. However, you really should learn how to make complete sentences before you go blasting away at people.)

None of the ParaZapper sites are Dr. Clarks and she does not get any money or any thing else from us except an occasional letter thanking her for her efforts. (So, she gives away her books on her fake cures for all diseases? She has no vested interest in trying to get people to electrocute themselves to abate their cancer?)

Additionally, Dr. Clarks zapper is free to build yourself and there are published schematics all over the internet for various models.

While we do offer our products as available for HIV and AIDS infected individuals we do not offer them as a cure. We also have a money back guarantee. (Oh, come now. Don't insult my intelligence. You say that HIV and AIDS may be caused by parasites and, all over your web site, you also say that your ParaZapper™ kills the parasites that make one ill. How can you keep that information completely insulated from each other? C'mon!)

We also do not suggest that anyone use the ParaZapper in place of any medication. (Nice way to cover your ass in the event you get sued by anybody who's harmed by your bullshit. You must sleep really, really well at night.)

For your information, ParaZapper is being tested at a major US university and does show a reduction of viral load in many but not all cases. (Yeah, yeah. Which "major US university"? Yale? Certainly not. MIT? Doubtful. College of CowFart, Alabama? Probably. Who's doing the testing? What department? What's the person's name? What's their specialty? When did they start testing? When do they expect to finish?)

As for the individual who told the Yahoo chat room visitor that ParaZapper was BS, which model did that well advised person buy and use that made him such an authority? (I'm *extremely* pleased that you recognize that the person who says your ParaZapper™ is bullshit was well-advised! Now, if you could just stop saying that your bullshit device will actually help people... Naw, that might cut into your revenue stream....)

Mr. Etheredge, thank you for your comments. You have allowed the world (Or at least the readers of this blog) to see what kind of asshole you really are. And, next time you want to go galavanting around the internet and calling people liars, you should probably look yourself in the mirror before you go throwing stones in your glass house.

While the ParaZapper™ is still bullshit, I have corrected the original ParaZapper™ post to reflect who actually owns the trademark.

Tapping Spots on Your Body and Thinking Happy Thoughts

I'm going to go out on a limb for this one. While today's bullshitter never actually says that his crap will cure AIDS, he doesn't deny it either. In fact, he calls this process a "Universal Healing Aid." The asshole says that his "Universal Healing Aid" has helped--either completely or partially--the thousands of problems, including "Headaches, back pain, stiff neck and shoulders, joint pains, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, ulcerative colitis, [and] psoriasis." The dickwad further states that "There are many, many more [physical ailments]. A complete list is several times as long." What a dick!

And now, the Bullshit!

Today's cure (for everything, no less) comes from the website of Gary Craig. He says that just by tapping specific points on your body in sequence and thinking that you're still a wonderful person, you can cure primarily emotional problems. Which is probably why he calls it "Emotional Freedom Techniques". (Or, EFT. And I thought it meant "Electronic Funds Transfer." Silly me!!) He goes on to mention that several people have had their physical ailments aleviated.

Of all the stupid things he says, this one caught my eye. He says that a woman attended one of his overpriced seminars (they'd be overpriced even if they were free) who had vision problems. After doing the tapping and thinking, she said that her vision had cleared! How's that for completely unprovable!?! How's that for an asounding lack of proof???!!!

My guess is that his positive thinking process (which is what this really is) really can work on some emotional problems. However, Mr. Craig (who makes a point of saying he's an ordained minister; being ordained isn't difficult to get done) realized that he needed to bilk more money out of more people so he could make the payments on his yacht. Therefore, he started inferring that people could cure their physical problems (lupus, for example) through his bullshit.

This bullshit is no different than faith healing. The big difference here is that to attend one of Gary's bullshit sessions, you gotta pay him for the honor. Upwards of $200 or more. (He says that he's currently offering a 1/2 off discount for his upcomming tapping crap. Which means, he really wants to charge $400.) This fucker is just another asshole out to get more money from people who are desperate enough to part with it.

Vitamin K

Yep. Vitamin K. That thing that they put into Olestra products to help with--well, there's no polite way to say this--anal leakage. Ok, maybe that was the polite way to say shit oozing uncontrollably from your ass...

This guy, Ashok T. Jaisinghani, got at least one thing right; Vitamin K does indeed help with clotting blood. However, after that, everything goes downhill. Fast.

Mr. Jaisinghani keeps mentioning "Diarrheal AIDS" but never really actually defines what that means or is supposed to mean or what it means in his little head or what. He also seems to think that AIDS is caused by (among other things):

1. Excessive intakes of laxative factors like iodine, vitamin D, chromium, zinc, manganese and magnesium;
2. Phosphoric acid used in foods and drinks, especially cola beverages;
3. Residues of petroleum products like hexane in cooking oils and fats;
4. Paraffin used as a coating on fruits and vegetables, and as a laxative in medicine;
5. Castor oil that is a contaminant in cooking oils and fats, and foodgrains;
6. Aspirin;
7. and Tea.

You'll notice a distinct lack of HIV or even any iota of a mention or suggestion of anything scientific or anything else of the sort. So you know Mr. Jaminghandi is on the up and up...

In regards to tea, Mr. Jiggywithit says, "The consumption of many cups of strong tea can also cause AIDS in susceptible persons like hemophiliacs." And, in a direct contradiction of the Garlic Guy from earlier, he says that garlic can cause AIDS, too. Where the FUCK does this god damn idiot get his information!? He doesn't even have any deceitful testimonials! Surely, anybody in this fake cure business needs to have testimonials to be taken seriously!!! (Of course, I don't take any of this bullshit seriously. It's all just that; bullshit.)

Anyway, the fat soluable Vitamin K helps with blood clotting. In fact, it's essential for it. However, blood clots have absolutely nothing to do with AIDS or even HIV infection. And, making sure your blood clots correctly isn't going to kill any virus in your body.

Whatta maroon. Whattan ignoramus!

The Beck Protocol (Part 4; Ozonated Water)

Finally, we get to Part 4, "Drinking freshly ozonated water"

Note the word "fresh". It's gotta be fresh. None of that old, stale crap you got by shaking your water bottle. Oh, no. That's too old for the Bullshit Beck Protocol.

And, how does one get freshly ozonated water? Wouldn't ya know it!? They have an ozonator for sale on the usual Beck Protocol web site. (Is there any doubt now that these fuckers are more out for your money than your health??)

And all this shit is just arbitrary, anyway. Absolutely no science behind this "Protocol". This "drinking freshly ozonated water" crap was added to the protocol, well, after realizing that they needed another way to bilk money out of people. Ok, ok; that isn't what they say. They say it was added when this Bob Beck fuck heard that people were having trouble releasing "toxins" (Always with the toxins!! Oy!) from the body and Mr. Beck decided that drinking water with oxygen in it (which already has oxygen; it's the O part of H₂O....) would help flush toxins. But I don't believe them.

So, that's it for the Beck Protocol. Electrify your silvernated blood while electrocuting your tissues and drinking water. What fuckin' nim-rod would try to pass this bullshit on as a cure for AIDS. (Oh! Mr. Bob Beck!) And why the hell won't people realize that testimonials are not proof? Le sigh....

The Beck Protocol (Part 3; Ionic/Colloidal Silver)

Part 3 of the Beck Protocol is "Drinking Ionic/Colloidal Silver".

"What the hell is Ionic/Colloidal Silver?" you ask? As best I can tell, it's water with itty bitty bits of silver in it. Of course, the assholes at the usual website for this Beck Protocol shit have a device which you can buy to make your own Ionic/Colloidal Silver. Basically, it's two electrified silver wires stuck into purified water of various temperatures. I think the theory is that then little bits of silver leave the wires and then infuse the water.

They mention that you can help speed up the process by putting salt in the water. But that can make larger particles of silver which they admit can be dangerous.

So, these fuckers are actually admitting that their bullshit can be harmful! Kudos! However.....

The most telling evidence against the Beck Protocol comes from their own site. In the Newsletter section several links are provided to, well, their newsletters. In Newsletter #4, it states:

When six individuals contacted us within a span of six weeks to say a PCR test (polymerase chain reaction) for HIV showed their viral load had gone up—some
considerably, after using The Beck Protocol for four to eight weeks—we knew it was time to take a closer look at the PCR test.

What the fuck?? Blame the test for the failed results of your bullshit Protocol?? That's like sayin' you got an F in English 101 so you blame the grading system!! It fucking makes no god damn sense! They already admit their bullshit can be dangerous! Why not jus' take a step back from that and say it DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!?

These people quote various "cases" where any one of the elements of the Bullshit Protocol appear to have helped people. But, like all other testimonials, these are nothing more than anecdotal evidence. And very poor anecdotal evidence at that.

In Newsletter #6, they report the various test results this Silverized water on water taken from a toilet. (ICK!) In test number three they note that continusouly boiling the toilet water while making the silverized water completely killed all bacteria (They call it a CFU) and prevented the CFU from forming after being stored for 10 months.

Apparently, they think the boiling hot water has nothing to do with the destruction of the CFUs. They credit it all to their collodial silver bullshit.

Look, boiling water for 10 minutes (or so) is the recommended way to sterilize water if you think it's been contaminated. Common sense says that these fucker's results on drinking this possibly harmful silverized water has nothing to do with the actual itty bitty bits of silver in the water.

From the Icky File: The Sputnik

In reviewing today's cure, I came across this immensly disgusting electronic medical "device". It's called the Sputnik. It's a little pill with electronic stuff inside that you swallow. After it hits your body fluids, it starts zapping away at you. It continues zapping you with electricity while it passes through your intestines.

And, how do you get the little thing out of your body? Well, like most things you stick in your mouth, it comes out your ass. Covered in shit. Fecal matter. Hepatitis C virus. That sort of thing.

The makers say you can use the Sputnik up to three times. You retreive the pill, cleanse it and then reingest it.

Yes. Retreive is a very polite way to say, "Dig it out of your shit". (They suggest using a seive to retrieve it. Which means, of course, "Taking a dump into a strainer") Cleanse it means, "Try to get the shit off of it". Reingest means, "Stick that old, shitty plastic thing you just dug out of your shit into your mouth and swallow."

No, they don't claim that swallowing a shit-covered pill will cure AIDS, but this was so disgusting I had to say something about it...

The Beck Protocol (Part 2; Magnetic Pulsing)

A.K.A., Magnetic pulsing for tissue electrification. Whatever that is....

I'm still not sure exactly how this, uh, "procedure" is supposed to work and I'm still not sure how Bob Beck's Magnectic Pulser is supposed to work. I suppose I could buy the asshole's book but (1) I don't have the extra money to throw away on something like that and (2) I just don't want to give this fucker any money.

What I've been able to glean from various web sites about this Bullshit Protocol is this: Since HIV harbors itself in lymph nodes and other assorted tissues in the body, one needs to electrify those tissues to kill the HIV virus. (Again, I just don't know how the electricity knows to only kill the cells you don't want. Maybe the device produces "Smart Electricity"; I just don't know....)

One way to electrify your tissues (which, as I understand my biology, are already electrified) is with the Magnetic Pulser. Naturally, you can buy a Magnetic Pulser from the money-hungry slime at yesterday's web site.

The electrodes can be placed anywhere on the body to electrify your lymph nodes; at least that's what they say. Will the lymph nodes in your neck be electrified if you put the electrodes on your big toe? Physics be damned, they also state as fact, "A variant, pulsed electromagnetic field creates the necessary microcurrents of electricity in the lymph or tissue." As I remember my physics, something--a coil, perhaps--has to MOVE through the electromagnetic field to create an electric current? Jus' sticking a static electromagnetic field on something doesn't create electricity. And, since the end result is supposed to be electicity anyway, why go through all the bullshit of making an electromagnetic field in the first place?

Magnet therapy does nothing. It's just an expensive refrigerator magnet you stick somewhere on your body. And this Pulsed Electromagnetic Field isn't going to create any type of electricity and, if it did, you would have to put the electrode thingies at least close to the tissue you want to electrocute. If electromagnetic fields did do something--anything!--people who work on high voltage power lines would either be very, very sick or very, very healthy.

The Beck Protocol (Part 1; Microcurrent Blood Therapy)

The Beck Protocol comes in four apparently arbitrary parts. (Since there is no known cure for AIDS, almost all of this bullshit is arbitrary.)

The four parts are:

1. Microcurrent therapy for cleansing the blood
2. Magnetic pulsing for tissue electrification
3. Drinking ionic/colloidal silver
4. Drinking freshly ozonated water

Which means, of course, putting metal into your body and then shocking yourself. And that just seems plain stupid. Regardless, I'll take on Part 1 today and the remaining parts probably over the next three days.

So, on with "Microcurrent therapy for cleansing the blood"!! Whatever the fuck that means.

Walking hand in hand with the ParaZapper™ (ParaZapper™ is a trademark of ParaDevices, Inc. and it's also bullshit; So much so that as of August 2006, the FDA has shut down ParaDevices' operation of selling "zappers".) Bob Beck has decided that sticking a couple of electrodes on yer wrist will electrify the blood and kill stuff. Including viruses such as HIV.

What I want to know is how the electricity knows to only kill the virus cells and not any of the good cells. But that would require actual research and useless crap like that. Regardless, if you want to know how to electrocute yourself with the Beck Protocol, you'll have to buy the book on how to make one of the bullshit devices.

And, be sure to read the testimonials. This part really pisses me off. They say on that testimonial page that the government (which government? The Internet Government??) has decided that testimonials are misleading. No!? REALLY?? That's about the only good thing these fuckers have to say. If you want to read these false and misleading, non-scientific, non-proof providing testimonials, you'll have to buy the book because, as these fuckers at The Beck Protocol say, "you make a conscious choice as to whether you want to be exposed to testimonials."

They out and out fucking DODGE putting anything real on their fuckin' site! And, if you want to see what they have to even suggest, you'll have to give them your hard-earned cash to read a bullshit-filled book. FUCK! Just another bunch of mother fuckers trying to rip cash out or your wallet!

Having Been "Enabled" to Heal One's Self

Here is the full and complete text of today's ridiculous claim. It was taken--lock, stock and barrel--from http://www.geocities.com/hailalodi/aids.html .

Dr. Revici found another method of healing AIDS. He found that if he enables the patient to heal him or herself, then they would be able to overthrow the virus. His system requires the patient to be very involved and responsible for their treatment. This includes constant monitoring and charting.

I have no fucking idea in the damn world what this fuckin' Dr. Revici means by that. How is this "enabling", uh, enabled. Can the not-so-good doctor simply call you on the phone and say "You can heal yourself!" and--voila!--you're healed? Does this "enabling" start a coup in your blood stream and cause all the little HIV viruses to leap out? Does the paitent have to really constantly monitor him- or herself? As in, sitting next to a, uh, monitoring device 24 hours a day?

I would hope that this "cure" actually does involve more than jus' being told you can heal yourself. But that doesn't change the fact there is no known cure for AIDS. This fuckin' non-doctor hasn't done a thing.

Ok, ok. I just spent 14 hours in a car picking up something I'd bought on E-bay. I'm tired. Today's had to be an easy one. And, this is by far the easiest crap bullshit I've taken on.